Just as a cake recipe may seem simple to those who have the gift of cooking, the recipe for a successful marriage may seem simple to some families, but totally complicated for others.
In the same way, referring to the recipe, we can hardly find a cake recipe that does not have flour, be it wheat or some other element, so that it can bind the other ingredients. So there is also an essential ingredient to every wedding, one that makes the others flow, that unites and incorporates the other ingredients, that essential ingredient is FORGIVENESS!
It can be easy to say that you love a person when he is doing whatever he pleases, but true love is built and rooted in the daily leaves of forgiveness, compassion, mercy for the beloved.
“Do you want to be happy for a moment? Take revenge. Do you want to be happy forever? Forgive! ” (Tertullian).
Our true happily ever after is about daily choices of adding that ingredient: forgiveness, compassion, mercy.
When we are offended, soon our ego thinks and wants revenge, something in return, when in fact our hearts need to desire to be loving, to be understanding, and to forgive.
Ask someone who has been married for many years how many times he has had to forgive his spouse for the most terrible and difficult things he has heard or experienced, and he will certainly hear that this marriage has often needed forgiveness.
Find reasons to forgive
Whether you are newlywed or with many years of marriage, if you ponder for a few moments and decide not to keep that hurt in your heart, but throw it away, you will probably find reasons and reasons to forgive again, an offense, a carelessness, a lack of attention, a word said without thinking, immature behavior, a sin.
“The nature of our response to these situations can determine the nature and quality of our life” (Marion Hanks).
A child who grows up in a home where patience, forgiveness, respect, consideration, kindness, mercy and compassion is constantly shown will bear fruit in the future for the eternal reward of this behavior established by the parents.
Mercy is almost always silent and modest, it receives few applause and headlines, it is the antithesis of revenge and hatred, greed and offensive selfishness.
Heart to Heart Communication
We need to analyze our routine situations in marriage as follows:
- With eyes that see anguish: That is, when we look at our spouse who has offended us, who is angry, or behaving inappropriately, we need to try to glimpse through their eyes their pains, their feelings, the real reason that leads them to be like that momentarily.
- Ears that listen to silent requests for help: We all have problems, traumas, pains, and often we are unable to express our feelings correctly, so we hurt, it is up to us as spouses to activate our attentive and non-judgmental listening.
- Heart full of compassion: Our beloved spouse may be delicately torn for some reason, broken into pieces by something unknown to us. Patience and dialogue should be our best friends in marriage.
Gather all the most delicious ingredients you have kept throughout your life and experience, and use them now, mix carefully and add lots of love, prepare the cake of your life and be very happy in your love relationship today and forever !
“Not even the best music constantly produces the harmony of great love” (James Faust).