Anguishing moment for parents is that of their children’s professional choice . So much seems to be in check: professional and financial achievement, prestige and professional respect and, of course, their happiness.
Parents at this time act in various ways that can help a lot or hinder the young person’s process, even though attitudes towards their children are anchored in the purest and most beautiful thing in this relationship, which is love.
Check out some tips to help your child in this very important moment.
# 1 Don’t give him the legacy of making his professional dream come true
It’s hard to think that way, isn’t it? But this is a great truth: many times, we parents design for our children’s professional careers what would, in fact, be our professional fulfillment. And worse … sometimes we do it without realizing it.
This attitude can have difficult consequences for the relationship between parents and children. If the adolescent feels deprived of the power to choose, he can totally reject what the parents advise.
On the other hand, when this young man is very obedient to his parents, his response may be to submit to the desire of these loved figures and, in the future, when he is already on the path of professional training, he may suffer a painful personal disappointment.
It is important to remember that you can also help your child seek psychotherapy to make their own process of self-discovery and resolve frustrations and dilemmas related to their past and present choices.
# 2 Have a frank and open conversation
Talking frankly and openly with a teenage son can be the most difficult task for parents at this point in their lives .
Understand that he is trying to define his own identity and for that he is expected to try to differentiate himself from his family. That is why teenagers are so “rebellious” and like to challenge their parents. In balanced doses, this rebellion is healthy for the discovery of one of the biggest questions in human life: the answer to the question “who am I?”.
Still, frank conversation is always an excellent way out. Try to talk not only about your desires for his life and future, but also about your personal desires, your story, what you regret not having done when you were younger, what you dreamed of doing and your parents did not support you.
Try to put the teenager that you have been talking to the teenager that your child is. You may be pleasantly surprised.
# 3 Listen to his wish
We parents often sin by not listening to our children’s wishes, after all, we know better than anyone what is best for them, right? Not always!
That’s right! We don’t always know what is best for our children . We do wish them the best. However, we must always respect this young man as a guy who wants things. Yes! He likes certain things, hates others and wants to strive to like some.
It is only possible to understand a teenager better from the moment we open our ears and minds to, in fact, not only listen to him, more than that, when we listen and value him, that is, we validate his feelings and desires.
It does not mean “rubbing your head”. Often it is enough to listen and say: “I understand what you feel and you are right to feel that way”. It can be magical. Take him out of the place of someone who cannot want to because you are the one who knows what is best for him, to put him in the place of someone who may want something for his own life (even if it seems absurd to you). This is the magic of validation.
# 4 Encourage you to know the reality of the professions you are interested in
This tip in practice can become a pleasant moment of mutual discovery. If he allows it, seek to know with him the reality of the professions a little more closely. It is worth encouraging him to make technical visits, interview professionals from his social circle and even try to attend a class on the course of interest to the young person.
But, look, remember to let him do the exploration movement. It is up to you to help with contacts and ideas. In practice, it is your child who will make the visit or interview. Make room for him.
Ah! Most importantly, talk about the findings. I’m sure you parents will know a lot of new things from your child’s dive.
# 5 Support your child’s choice (s)
This is perhaps the most difficult part when the relationship is undermined by the expectations mentioned in tip # 1 or when the teenager does not feel heard and, therefore, the dialogue is undermined.
Reaching this phase of true support means having an open mind and heart to see your young son as he is, giving space to what he feels, truly listening to what he wants.
Of course, making this choice is not easy, especially when the teenager charges himself for a choice that can be for a lifetime. So, check out the last tip of this post.
# 6 Doesn’t have to be a lifelong choice
Understand that the professional choice at this time in life may not be a “forever ” choice . Studies already prove that, in contemporary times, people have made career changes increasingly new.
In a world where innovations happen at full throttle, it is more than natural that the subject has to review their professional paths, seeking adaptation to an extremely changing market.
In addition, nowadays the maxim “work with what you love” has become an imperative condition for a person’s success, since this concept refers to financial, professional and personal fulfillment at the same time.
And to close this chat about teenage children, I invite you to get to know my profile . If you have a child in this situation, come to know the Professional Guidance, which is certainly a great ally for a more conscious and safe choice.