Are my boyfriend’s friends enemies of my relationship?

Everyone dreams of having a stable relationship with someone wonderful. However, we have to be honest and accept that there is no perfect relationship. Relationships ARE BUILT, and this requires many elements, among them, TRUST and TIME.

Before proceeding, let’s clarify something: each person brings with them experiences, friends, family, preferences and interests, and a relationship between two people is established through gradually knowing all these facets. Obviously, getting to know our partner completely is complex, and the other’s preferences are not intended to be accepted blindly and vice versa. A relationship is much more than that, it is giving and receiving, eliminating or changing what is not good or healthy for each one; improve with the help of the other and learn from him; but all of this requires a process that involves patience.

One of the conditions that we tend to “drag” into a relationship are friends, who, in one way or another, influence the couple’s connection. We want to have time to spend with them, but we also want to spend pleasant moments with our love. We cannot expect there to be a fight of interest between the two relations, as a conflict between the parties will certainly arise, and nobody wants to go through such a situation.

Taking this into account, it is necessary to reach a compromise, where neither your friends nor your boyfriend’s friends apply pressure between the two; it is a matter of reconciling the two relationships in a balanced way. For that, I leave some tips that can help you find a way to tolerate his friends and lead the relationship in a happy way:

Don’t ask your boyfriend to choose

Don’t make him choose between you and his friends. This is one of the worst things you could do. Nobody wants to feel manipulated or forced to do something they don’t like; and you certainly wouldn’t be willing to give up your friendships either.

Try to make friends with his friends

Try to get to know them better and allow them to do the same, as you may be missing out on the opportunity to meet wonderful people. It is also a good technique to know what your partner is like when you are with other people.

Don’t abandon your friends for being in a relationship

It is a truth that I learned in my own skin; your life is not limited to a loving relationship. We are social beings and we need to relate, it helps us to get to know each other better and relieve the pressure, and if the relationship ends at any time, it gives you the opportunity to have them around.

Don’t criticize his friends

It is a big mistake, especially if they are people he has known for a long time. This will generate absurd disputes and may lead to the end of the relationship.

Don’t be jealous

This is an obvious sign of insecurity. I mentioned in the second point that, if you give yourself the opportunity to meet your boyfriend’s friends, you will be able to meet the people with whom he is related and, through them, you will be able to get to know him better, which will prevent that the “malignant” jealousy, a feeling that can deteriorate any relationship.

Distribute your time

For you, who enjoy being with both your friends and your boyfriend, make a good distribution of time and activities. Remember to set aside time for yourself too, so that you can enjoy the moments alone, which will always do you good.

Choose activities to do when you’re not with him

In other words, have a life of your own. It is fair and necessary. Fair enough, because your boyfriend will not always have time to be with you; and necessary, because it is not healthy for any relationship to “suffocate” the other person with your presence. This also gives the opportunity for the relationship to “air”; that way, when you book a date together, you will have a varied repertoire for your conversations.

Watch his friends “from afar”

The relationship must be based on mutual trust and good communication. There must be enough sincerity and respect to make your boyfriend see some details that you don’t like about his friends, to advise him without fear with “tests basic enough so that he is alert to possible risky situations in your circle of friendship .

Do not involve friends in decisions to be made as a couple

This generates misunderstandings and embarrassing situations. Always remember that a relationship is between two, and a third always ends up being left over. This does not mean that a friend cannot comfort you or listen to you when you have problems, but their participation – so to speak – should be limited to that.

I conclude by saying that love must be nurtured day after day, and a demonstration of this is to understand that your boyfriend is not perfect. It is healthy to talk about what you like or dislike about the relationship, because when you love someone, you don’t make demands. Keep in mind that  there must be no selfishness ; and always consider that it is not because they are together that the relationship must be the only social link with the world. For a relationship to be solid, it must have a good foundation from the start, if you are going to reach the altar with your boyfriend.

 

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