Betrayal in marriage: to forgive or not to forgive?

The decision to spend the rest of your life in the company of a person needs to be made very carefully. Nowadays, many people decide to marry with little time of relationship, thinking of separating if not right. However, this point of view trivializes the meaning of setting up a family and the consequences of separation are not always foreseen by those who carry this thought.

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Especially if there are children in the game, raising the child alone is not good for either the mother or the little one. The presence of the father in the education of the children is essential for the child to grow up with an adequate psychological structure and a good personal formation. In addition, breaking a long-term relationship can be very painful for both parties and overcoming the loss of a partner and facing a single life with children to create is a great challenge.

Unlike the time of dating without alliances, the commitment of marriage makes the responsibilities and rules of the relationship much heavier and stricter. A betrayal is more easily forgiven when the couple is still in the beginning of the relationship and has no wedding plans. However, after consolidating the commitment, an overnight betrayal may be enough to end years of history. (He says he loves me, but he cheats. Why do men do that?)

Therefore, it is very important that all steps are taken carefully, especially in times of crisis. Choosing to marry someone is as difficult as deciding to part ways with your partner. The consequences need to be analyzed, along with feelings and the possibility of forgiving and regaining confidence in the partner. Check out some tips on how to act in this situation and make the best choice:

No radicalisms

It is common that, after discovering a betrayal, the feeling of disappointment is mixed with anger and pride and, with a warm head, the partner is expelled from the house with all belongings. However, taking radical action without first thinking about it and not being sure what you want, can cause a lot of regret later.

Getting involved with a person outside of marriage is a very serious mistake and cannot be easily forgiven. But being radical is also not the best choice at the time of the crisis and can end any chance of restoring the marriage. Therefore, the ideal is not to make any hasty decisions and, if you do not want to lose your partner and think it is possible that he will regret what he did, it is best to fight to recover the loved one and not lose to a woman who appeared suddenly and has no connection with the lover.

Find out who you married

In some cases, it is much easier to forgive a betrayal than in others. Especially if the relationship is long-lasting and the woman knows her partner’s personality well, giving a second chance after the slip is easier. In this case, the betrayal may have occurred for a variety of reasons, and if the partner feels bad about what he did and is sorry, he probably won’t do it again.

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However, there are cases where betrayals occur more than once, and the woman knows that she has married a man who has this weakness and therefore cannot be faithful. More womanly men hardly hide their personality and interest in different women. Therefore, making the decision to marry an untrustworthy man can be an invitation to betrayal and, in these cases, making the partner regret it is much more complicated.

When it is possible to give a second chance

When considering the possibility of giving a second chance, it is necessary to put all the positive and negative points of the relationship in the balance. Feelings are also important and how happy and satisfying life together is, excluding the fact of betrayal.

The partner’s willingness to abandon the other woman and invest in marriage again also needs to be assessed. Even if everything indicates that the best is to give a second chance, the most difficult will be to restore confidence and, to believe again in the partner will be a slow process. Many forgiving women find themselves caught up in mistrust with any delay and soon start fights and arguments for not believing in their partner. (Is it worth forgiving a betrayal?)

These feelings also need to be controlled, as from the moment the second chance is granted, it is essential that the two restore the routine they had before the event. Making the partner’s life hell with fights over mistrust can end the goodwill to restore the marriage.

Overcome the crisis with help

Asking for help from an outsider is a good choice to resolve the issue properly. The help can come either from a friend, a professional or even a priest, if the couple is religious. In the moment of crisis and confusion of feelings, a third person can bring good advice, through an outside view of the situation and knowledge about the personality of the couple in question. (See 12 steps to strengthen marriage after a betrayal)

If the couple decides to overcome the crisis together and go back to what they were before, a wedding therapy can be useful for the process to go smoothly. Getting out of a crisis is usually very complicated and requires that both have a good psychological preparation and start seeing again the person who swore love when the relationship was consolidated.

 

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