Adele Syndrome: Can Unrequited Love Drive You Crazy?

What is Adele syndrome and what are its symptoms

Adele syndrome is a condition in which a person is obsessed with the object of their love, has unrealistic expectations, and may stalk the lover in the hope of reciprocity.

Another name for this disorder is obsessive love disorder, and it may have the following symptoms:

  • obsessive thoughts about a loved one, a desire to be together all the time;
  • a constant need to do something to “confirm” your love;
  • spending a lot of time searching and viewing photos of a person;
  • constant calls and messages to the object of passion;
  • stalking a person, checking the places and activities in which he participates;
  • believing that the feelings are mutual, even if he directly says that they are not;
  • problems with friends or family while obsessed with a particular person;
  • self-harm to relieve suffering, suicide attempts.

The syndrome got its name from the sad story of Adele Hugo, the youngest daughter of the famous French writer .

The beautiful and musically gifted girl grew up in Paris. After the coup of 1851, the Hugo family, fleeing political persecution, was forced to move to the Channel Islands. There, Adele met the British army officer Albert Pinson, who became the object of her obsessive passion.

Some sources claim that the man proposed to Adele but was rejected, while others claim that Victor Hugo contributed to the breakup, since he was an ardent nationalist and did not want a foreign son-in-law.

Be that as it may, Albert and Adele separated , and the officer went to Halifax, a city in Nova Scotia, a province of Canada, on assignment. Adele, beside herself with longing for her lover, took advantage of her mother’s absence and went after him.

The girl was obsessed with her passion and wrote to her family that she had married, although in fact Pinson had no relations with her. She suffered from schizophrenia and delusional ideas, led a beggarly life and stopped communicating with her family.

According to one version, Adele left Nova Scotia to follow her love to Barbados, where she wandered until she was returned to France at the age of 42. According to another, her brother François-Victor Hugo brought the poor thing home straight from Halifax at the age of 34.

Be that as it may, after her return, Adele was sent to a psychiatric hospital , where she remained until her death at the age of 85.

Can unrequited love drive you crazy?

Apparently, it was not love that drove Adele crazy. Even before meeting Pinson, the girl suffered from depression, and there were histories of mental disorders in Hugo’s family. For example, the writer’s brother suffered from schizophrenia .

In addition, at the age of 13, Adèle experienced the death of her older sister, and then left Paris for an island with “almost monastic conditions.” Her mother wrote to her husband that in this environment, the girl thinks too much, and her thoughts are irrational and destructive for her.

Thus, Adele already had the prerequisites for illness, and although unrequited love could have been the last straw, it was clearly not the only reason for the girl’s madness.

Yes, strong feelings can cause a lot of pain. An emotionally traumatized person suffers from loss of trust, loses self-esteem , gets angry, and experiences a sense of loss.

At the same time, most people cope quite successfully with painful experiences without developing a dependence on the object of passion, and only a small percentage develop obsessive love disorder.

What disorders can lead to Adele syndrome?

Adele syndrome is not included in the official list of diseases, and it can hide several mental problems at once.

1. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental illness in which a person is visited by obsessive thoughts – obsessions, which he tries to cope with by performing certain actions-rituals – compulsions. Some psychologists suggest that Adele suffered from this illness in addition to schizophrenia.

2. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a disorder in which a person is hypersensitive, has difficulty controlling their emotions and behavior, has unstable self-esteem, and may endanger themselves or self-harm.

3. Attachment issues. One small study involving 290 students found that people with an ambivalent attachment type are most likely to suffer from obsessive love. This can develop if the child’s parents or guardians behave inconsistently: sometimes they satisfy the child’s needs, sometimes they remain indifferent. As a result of such upbringing, a person does not feel safe, becomes very attached to people and is afraid of being abandoned.

4. Delusional disorder – false beliefs that a person continues to believe despite obvious evidence to the contrary. One type of delusional disorder is erotomania – the belief that another person is in love with the patient, although the patient directly or through behavior proves the opposite. People suffering from erotomania may stalk the object of their adoration, pester them with letters and calls, and even try to break into their home or workplace.

In addition, Adele syndrome is often accompanied by depressive and anxiety disorders.

Is it possible to get rid of Adele syndrome?

Like other disorders, Adele syndrome is treatable.

If the obsession with a person lasts for a long time and seriously worsens the quality of life, it is worth contacting a psychiatrist . Specific treatment will depend on what disorders accompany obsessive love.

A specialist can prescribe pharmacological support, such as antidepressants, and also recommend a method of psychotherapy.

This approach will not only help you cope with painful feelings, but will also protect you from them in the future. By building healthier relationships with yourself and the world around you, you are less likely to fall in love again to the point of obsession.

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