Being in a relationship has its ups and downs. It is true that a partner can give you the support and love you need to live a more fruitful life; however, it is also sometimes inevitable that our partners hurt our ego or our pride, intentionally or not. If not conquered, this pride could foster resentment and lead to the end of the relationship. To overcome your pride and keep your relationship intact, consider practicing and living this way.
1. Accept your shortcomings.
You can never overcome pride if you don’t learn to accept. If you’ve done something wrong, admit it not only to your partner, but to yourself as well. Don’t let your pride overwhelm you to resist acceptance or suppress the truth. This would be difficult to do at first, especially if your pride already has a hold on you, but once you get over that initial hurdle, it will be much easier to resolve the whole issue.
2. Learn to apologize.
After successfully admitting your shortcomings and mistakes, you will then need to apologize. It can get expensive at first, especially if you’re a selfish person, but remember that saying you’re sorry is a good way to develop humility and reduce pride. It is a declaration not only to your partner but also to yourself that you are taking ownership of your actions and not letting your ego get in the way.
3. Look at the big picture.
One way to overcome pride is to look at the big picture. Is it worth it to stop talking to your partner after he / she hurts your pride by refuting your belief that the Earth is flat? Or is it worth saying derogatory remarks to him after your argument just to feel empowered and feed your ego? If you think it’s worth it, you might be able to keep your pride intact, but you could likely endanger your relationship or even put its existence in jeopardy in return. There are situations where keeping your pride isn’t worth it, because in the grand scheme of things you will be forced to lose more. Learn to look less at the trees and more at the forest.
4. Communicate constantly.
We don’t always have to overcome pride. Sometimes we just need to use preventative measures so that our partners don’t inadvertently harm them, and that’s where constant communication comes in. We need to communicate our mindset and sensitivities to our partners, so they can avoid doing things that hurt our pride. Of course, this solution is not complete proof, but it can, at the very least, alleviate the number of instances where we are forced to confront and subdue our innate pride.
5. Don’t be too serious all the time.
Sometimes we are too defensive of our pride because we take everything too seriously. We view every comment as a potential insult to our act or character, or we focus our attention too much on one thing that the slightest criticism of it makes us angry. There is nothing wrong with being serious and vigilant, especially with the things that you are passionate about, but there should be a balance. You should learn to relax from time to time. This will not only help you not to be overly sensitive to your pride, but it will also allow you to have funnier and crazier times with your partner.
6. Compete in moderation.
Being competitive is a good trait. In a relationship, this can be a healthy motivation for you and your partner to continue to improve and grow. However, being overly competitive with your partner and you may find yourself hurting your pride. Stay moderate. The end goal of competition should be mutual development and not the projection of one’s perceived superiority.
7. Learn to compromise.
If you can’t completely let go of your pride while not wanting to offend your partner, then maybe you both should learn to compromise. If you and your partner, for example, are engaged in a heated discussion about who came first between the chicken and the egg, you may be able to agree on some common ground or at least respect the belief of the other without giving in. Learning to compromise will save both of you the trouble of having to deal with your damaged pride and help prevent any serious tension from building up in the first place.
8. Be happy with your partner’s success.
If you really love and care about your partner, you should be happy with their success. You should not view her as an adversary whose accomplishments compromise or challenge yours. It’s an unhealthy way of thinking that will end up hating or unreasonably envying your partner. If you don’t see your partner as an enemy you must defeat, but rather an ally you should cheer on, then your pride will not be affected each time it reaches a new stage. Problem avoided.
9. Strive to grow together.
Couples who seek to learn and grow together are immune to the corrupting nature of individual pride. Encourage each other to hone your strengths and work on your weaknesses, and view each other’s mistakes as a learning experience for the relationship. If you and your partner act as a single, united force, you will also develop a kind of pride that is not personal and envious, but holistic and uplifting.
Pride is something we all have, and it’s okay to feel an abundance of it every now and then; however, we must not allow it to take over our thoughts and actions, especially when it can endanger our relationship with the people we love. When the situation calls for it, we must be prepared to avoid it or at the very least loosen its hold on us.