Ending a relationship is one of the most difficult things in the world. There are many emotional aspects involved in the process and someone will certainly be hurt.
Nevertheless, there are ways to end the relationship in a friendly way, so that the damage to the other person is less. If you are sure that your relationship is not going anywhere and that it is no longer worth fighting for, it is time to act.
See these 8 tips on how to end a relationship in a healthy way.
It doesn’t matter if you are at the limit of your patience or you are simply not happy with your relationship anymore, try to follow these tips on how to end the relationship in the best way, with patience and wisdom, and I am sure that the breakup will not be so painful.
After all, it is not because you are going to end that you need to become enemies, is it? How to end a relationship can be a little easier when we do it consciously.
In today’s post we will cover the following topics:
- Are you sure you want to finish?
- Put a deadline for suffering
- Don’t ignore the question
- Don’t finish on social media
- Don’t give false hopes
- Get away
- Do not use children to blackmail your ex
- How to end a relationship and be happy
Are you sure you want to finish?
Before deciding on something so important about ending a relationship, you have to think.
Here are some points you need to consider:
- All couples go through phases of crisis , and some are strengthened in these moments of storm. Think about talking to your partner about relationship problems to try to find a solution.
- When talking, talk about how you felt about specific facts or situations, rather than just talking about the problem in general. Try to listen to what your partner has to say without thinking about what you are going to answer while you are listening. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
- Have you thought about couple therapy? Sometimes it can help to improve communication and overcome conflicts.
- Try to identify what you want in a partner and see if you can find it in your current boyfriend / husband.
- Keep in mind that the period of explosive passion always ends, and when that happens you start to see flaws and defects in the other person, with that the problems arise, but after that phase there can also be a deep and mature love.
- Don’t make the decision to end a relationship when you feel angry. It must be a decision thought for a while, without being dominated by emotions like anger or resentment.
Finally, if you think about it, if you have run out of resources to save the relationship and the problems continue, if you are really determined to end the relationship, then there is nothing else to think about.
The challenge now will be to determine how to end the relationship in the best way. However, be prepared because there may be sadness and pain on both sides.
Put a deadline for suffering
Do not prolong this agony. If you really want to end this situation, then it’s time to put an end to it definitely. Letting time pass and postponing the end is very common, but in the end it is worse. If you leave the break up for later, you end up boycotting your relationship. With that, you and your partner suffer even more.
A breakup hurts, but continuing a relationship that doesn’t work hurts anymore. So how to end a relationship in this case? Choose a time when the person has time to face what has happened before facing family and friends.
After the end, even if it was you who finished, you will probably feel some sadness, lack of routine, but it is very important to also set a deadline to suffer. Have your mourning time, but don’t suffer forever!
Arrive with the explanation, be clear and objective
Telling the other person clearly that the relationship has ended, although it sounds like a very negative thing, is the best choice. The message is more easily internalized by the other person due to its clarity and sincerity.
When you convey your intention to end your relationship, you must be very clear and sincere about your desires. Express yourself with respect, without censorship, without blaming yourself or another person for the ending.
At the same time, there must be firmness in your words and you must not go back for feelings of guilt or compassion. Certainly, the other person will be angry or cry a lot, and you must be prepared for these reactions.
Avoid listing a long list of reasons why you think the relationship should end. Just go straight to the point, say the general reason why you think you both came to this situation where you can’t remain a couple, and that’s all.
Don’t end by WhatsApp
WhatsApp is a great ally of our day to day because it saves us time of phone calls and messages, however, in that case, forget about the messaging app. Ending a relationship through WhatsApp would be an act of cowardice, especially if your relationship has lasted a long time. In addition, a message may indicate that you do not have the courage to face a face-to-face conversation.
Imagine if it were the other way around: would you like to be told that they want to break up with you by message? Probably not.
You will have to say everything to him personally (unless you fear a violent reaction from your partner) and in a suitable place. It is an uncomfortable situation, but it is the only way to do it. It is also not a good idea to speak at home because he could put together an unpleasant scene.
The best would be a public place, but not too busy, where you can talk in peace, without noise or interruptions.
Don’t give false hopes
It may happen that your partner tries to ask for a new chance, saying that it is not necessary to finish everything at once, that you can take time to think about your relationship. This is not a good idea!
You will only prolong your unhappiness and still give false hope to your partner, because he will start to think that you are not very determined to end.
So the best way to end a relationship in this case is to be very sure of your decision and not back down, even if you feel sorry for the other person. Do not allow the sentence to prolong a situation that only brings unhappiness and dissatisfaction. You must continue with your original plan, end this relationship and start preparing for a new stage.
Once the relationship is over, you need to keep some distance. No messages or phone calls, unless they are really needed. Return the belongings you left at each other’s homes as early as possible to really begin the grieving process after a relationship ends. Respect this period, it will be necessary for the healing process.
Do not be interested in the activities he performs, nor let him know the details of your daily life. If you have friends in common or go to the same gym, for example, try to coordinate the times so that you don’t have a chance to meet him. Let him live his own life.
Being friends with your ex isn’t impossible, but don’t try to do it overnight, as it could prolong the pain of breaking up. Let each one live their own life and time will tell if they are ready to start a friendship.
Do not use children to blackmail your ex
Ending a relationship where children are involved is always more difficult, and depending on how the relationship with your ex was, the idea of removing children from his presence is very tempting. After all, a partner who hurt you in a relationship couldn’t be a good father, could he?
And then, unintentionally, you start using your children as a way to punish your ex. Do not do it! Regardless of his relationship with his ex, he remains the father of his children.
I can say this from experience. I got married very young, I had two children very early, I had no experience and my relationship started to wear out.
I parted soon after the birth of my second child and I can honestly say that I detested my ex. I thought that keeping the two of them away from their father was being a good mother. I fought, made emotional blackmails and put my children against him, turning him into a villain. Of course, our separation was terrible, but I realized right away that, in addition to doing harm to myself, I was doing harm to my children.
I understood that although he was not a good husband, he could be a good father. They are two different things. And that we could have a civilized relationship. After I realized that, our relationship improved a lot. And I was able to move on.
How to end a relationship in a healthy way and be happy
Finishing in a healthy way will allow both parties to learn from experience and that, once the recovery process is over, they will continue to believe in love.
Even if you have followed all these steps, you will probably feel bad after a few days, which is normal. You will experience a major emotional shift and you must take time to recover. Give yourself the opportunity to release those feelings through weeping and after a few days, you will feel better. When you recover, you will be ready to enjoy your new freedom and, who knows, fall in love again.