If you’re “not in the mood” for sex for weeks or even months, it’s time to look for the real reasons for your lack of desire. The following eight points can help you figure out what’s killing your libido.
Disorder in the house
Fresh sheets are much more conducive to romance than those that clearly need washing. And a pizza box on the bedside table won’t even whet your appetite. There’s no talk of perfect cleanliness, just create the right environment. It’s unpleasant to even be in a dirty room, let alone have sex. Agree, no rose petals and a playlist of romantic tracks will help create the right mood when the smell of cat litter is spreading throughout the house and the bed is piled high with things.
Children
Children, of course, should not become accidental witnesses of their parents’ pleasures. Therefore, a bit of self-control would not hurt mom and dad: make sure that the offspring are asleep, and temporarily lock your bedroom. Having a child should not become the reason for the absence of sex life – sometimes it is enough to realize this for the situation to improve.
Lack of training
Feeling like your body isn’t in the best shape is unlikely to inspire you to strip naked. Plus, exercise has been shown to help release feel-good hormones called endorphins, which in turn increase your desire for sex. Overall tone and well-being will directly impact your libido.
Tension in relationships
Tension in a relationship inevitably kills romance. And to bring quality sex back, the first thing you need to do is to work together to resolve conflicts and grievances. You won’t get any pleasure from thinking about why he forgot to congratulate your mother on her birthday and why he throws socks all over the apartment. Especially when the disagreements are serious and you see the man as an ideological enemy, not a sexual partner.
Weight gain
If you’ve recently gained weight and haven’t yet accepted yourself at your new weight, a crisis of self-perception can completely discourage you from having sex. But believe me, a few extra pounds won’t affect your ability to enjoy intimacy with your loved one. Understand that the number on the scale is not what makes you close, and be loyal to your body, even if you plan to get back to your previous shape.
Stress
The freedom, vulnerability, and relaxation that are characteristic of sex are poorly compatible with mental and physical stress. Stress is an inevitable part of life, and yet its level can be controlled. Removing the source of anxiety, meditation, exercise, and other relaxing practices such as massage can help make room for pleasure and get rid of obsessive worries.
High expectations
Sex in pop culture is often depicted unrealistically – even films that are far from erotic regularly show the “exploits” of lovers: heroes rip off their clothes, languish with pleasure in an elevator, or enjoy each other in the back seat of a car. There is no guarantee that you will be comfortable if these spicy scenes happen in your life. You don’t think that actors repeat this at home, do you? Focus on your own desires and fantasies and show a bit of spontaneity. Sex on a schedule – it doesn’t even sound romantic!
You are too absent-minded
Finally, you have time to spend together away from prying eyes, but instead you mindlessly scroll through social media. Do you recognize yourself? Then the problems are probably not only with sex: life is passing you by while you forget yourself in the easiest way – with the help of primitive content. Realize what is killing your time. Let there be a place for lovemaking in your new lifestyle.