The sexual revolution did not happen yesterday, but the topic remains largely taboo. It’s time to debunk the 8 most popular misconceptions.
Myth #1: You are the only one who doesn’t have sex
Oddly enough, this myth can haunt you throughout your life. In youth, the mistaken belief that “everyone has had it” can push you to act rashly, and in adulthood, the assumption that the “lull” in sex only affected you and your partner can provoke a feeling of inferiority. Meanwhile, a number of surveys indicate that approximately one in three adults has not had sex at all for a year. Don’t get hung up on quantity, take care of your physical and mental health, discuss feelings with your partner to maintain a sense of closeness and connection.
Myth #2: Sex = penetration
Experts note that stereotypical behavior in bed can deprive you not only of pleasure, but also of orgasm. Short foreplay and penetration are not the only possible scenario. A recent study showed that 75% of men experienced orgasm every time they had sexual intercourse, while only 33% of women could boast of the same. Don’t be afraid to experiment and offer your partner different formats of stimulation. Perhaps you just need to spend a little more time together before climax – listen to yourself!
Myth #3: Men always want sex more than women
Mismatched desires are fertile ground for conflicts over sex. Women are offended that their man does not want them, and men themselves feel ashamed if they are not given the opportunity to satisfy their partner 24/7. At the same time, girls are embarrassed to take the initiative – it is not allowed, if you are guided by stereotypes: they can attribute preoccupation and “easy behavior”. It is time to recognize that both women and men may want or not want sex. Fertility fluctuates not only under the influence of external factors such as stress and fatigue, but also with age, this is completely normal.
Myth #4: Pain is a sign of good sex
This myth thrives for two reasons: men, having watched hardcore porn, believe that their partner should almost howl from their activity. And women, having experienced discomfort during their first sex, may think that it will always be like this and not realize the problem. Painful sex can have many root causes, from hormonal changes to injuries and gynecological ailments. By the way, men can also experience pain during intercourse. At the same time, experts say: pain during sex is a reason to see a doctor.
Myth #5: Scheduled sex is doomed
We warn you, associating sex with a routine duty and marital obligation is harmful. But, according to sexologists, there is nothing terrible in planning, and sometimes it is the only way to find time for intimacy. Imagine that you bought a membership to a fitness club, but you want to go to the gym only when you suddenly feel like it. Nothing will come of it, because sports require time and suitable conditions. The same is true for sex. Moreover, experts believe that a clear schedule can have a beneficial effect on your sex life: you and your partner will have time to tune in and get ready.
Myth #6: Natural lubrication is enough
If the use of a condom by a man (with lube, by the way) has long become the norm and commonplace, then the use of a lubricant remains exotic for many couples. Meanwhile, according to surveys, about 17% of women aged 18 to 50 report vaginal dryness during sex and more than 50% after menopause. In addition, dryness often occurs in nursing mothers and when taking certain medications, including contraceptives. Lack of natural lubrication does not always indicate a lack of proper arousal or feelings; this is a harmful misconception.
Myth #7: Arousal should happen instantly
Sexual desire is usually divided into two types: spontaneous and responsive. Probably due to the influence of pop culture, namely stormy sex scenes in movies, when partners get turned on in literally a second and destroy everything in their path, it is believed that the first option is preferable. Let’s be honest: a sudden desire for sex in a couple rarely occurs synchronously, especially in long-term relationships, so one of the partners is forced to adjust to the other. It is important to be flexible and try to meet halfway, this is the case when appetite comes with eating. Don’t worry, the hormone of happiness will do its job.
Myth #8: You have less/more/not like everyone else
School biology lessons hardly allow you to form a realistic idea of the “model” appearance of external genitalia. It would seem that in the age of the Internet, it is enough to enter the corresponding request into a search engine, but here too you will be disappointed: the standards of the porn industry are far from real statistics. As a result, even adults suffer from complexes. Well, to raise your spirits, try turning to medical encyclopedias. There are so many variations of the norm that you should hardly worry about your data. If the question of “normality” still causes concern, make an appointment with a specialist doctor.