Responsibility. It is said of the ability to answer for our actions and to commit ourselves in our duties. It is also said of an uncommon ability in our day, in a society that claims rights, but avoids duties.
Allergic to duties, fueling the narcissistic presumption that we can receive without giving anything in return, it is not uncommon to meet people who have become specialists in avoiding responsibilities.
The main problem is that these people project their responsibilities onto others and expect others to shoulder their obligations and mistakes.
If we meet a person who does not assume his responsibilities, we are likely to end up carrying a very heavy burden of our duties in addition to his.
The strategies of people who do not assume their responsibilities
- Projection
Projection is a defense mechanism through which the person attributes his feelings, desires and motivations to others. The person does not recognize her emotions as their own and projects them onto us, blaming us when she feels frustrated, overwhelmed, angry, or sad.
If that person gets angry, for example, in order not to recognize his anger, he attributes it to us and it is also probable that he accuses us of not being reasonable, when in reality the opposite is true. To evade his emotional responsibilities, he pours those affective states onto those around him.
- Intimidation
In this case, the person resorts to name calling, humiliation, and contempt to evade responsibility. This intimidation is usually verbal, through insults, but it can also resort to joking with the aim of belittling the other.
Basically, intimidation is a tool of power. Indeed, the person knows that if he succeeds in intimidating us, we will not ask him for his responsibilities. Therefore, he seeks to win a superior position where we feel obligated to fulfill his obligations or leave it alone.
- Attack
The attack as a strategy to avoid responsibility does not take place on a physical level but on a psychological one. The person is aware that he has made a mistake, but before being held accountable, he decides to attack us.
Usually the attack begins with something insignificant, a trivial situation, but the person takes advantage of it and exaggerates to the point of diverting attention from what is really happening. It’s as if he’s stoking a small fire to divert attention from a huge fire happening elsewhere.
- Blaming
One of the most common strategies of people who evade their responsibilities is to blame us for any mistakes we make. To clear themselves, these people will not hesitate to manipulate and distort the facts as they please.
In this case, people want us to pay for their damages. Not only do they not acknowledge their responsibility, but they intend to force us to bear it and will probably even play the role of victims.
- Avoidance
Avoidance is a strategy that many people use to avoid their responsibilities. In this case, the person will not fight or get angry, he will simply try to flee the situation when we try to force him to meet his obligations.
Sometimes the avoidance takes place on the physical level: the person abandons the family or the job, other times he hides behind indifference and silence. In these cases, the person is present but avoids talking about the problem, usually by keeping quiet.
- Denial
Denial can become one of the most frustrating tactics of people shirking their responsibilities. In this case, the person will simply deny everything. If she’s compromised, she’ll deny it. If she’s wrong, she’ll deny it.
His strategy is to destabilize us with willfulness. The person is unwilling to acknowledge responsibility even in the face of evidence. He will deplete our resources, energy and time by denying his role in the story, to the point that we will come to wonder if it really happened and if we didn’t screw up.
- Exhaustion
This liability avoidance tactic is to take a small detail and discuss it endlessly. The person does not agree to discuss the problem or the consequences of their actions, but diverts our attention to an irrelevant point.
In this way, the conversation goes off the rails and enters a vicious circle. This will eventually exhaust, frustrate and annoy us until we agree with him or give up his responsibility.
What can we do with people who don’t take responsibility?
We cannot force anyone to assume their responsibilities. We can only talk to him to try and make him understand that we all have obligations and that a good coexistence depends on everyone being mature enough to assume the consequences of their actions, correct their mistakes and take responsibility for their responsibilities.
Unfortunately, persuasion doesn’t always pay off. Therefore, sometimes the only solution is to get to know people and lower our expectations. If we know someone is systematically evading their obligations and responsibilities, we had better not count on that person for serious matters.
