Neutralizing a manipulative narcissist is not an easy task, as they are very persuasive, that is, they have an enormous ability to bring others closer to their way of seeing the world. Living with a narcissist can be exciting at first because they have a unique capacity for seduction. They are adventurous and fascinating. However, over time the narcissist begins to show himself for who he really is and this is where the problems begin.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder believe they are superior to others. They have an exaggerated perception of their importance. They are controlling, selfish and manipulative. They feel no empathy. They always require attention. They are never satisfied and always want more.
Because they are quite complicated people, living with a narcissist is usually exhausting, especially for those who are emotionally dependent or have self-esteem issues. Of course, both men and women can suffer from this disorder.
However, like all people, narcissists also have their weaknesses. With some communication strategies it is possible to neutralize them. Here are 7 phrases that can keep them away from you .
1. Learn to say no
The narcissist has an enormous difficulty in listening: this type of people does not accept opinions other than their own, they even go so far as to threaten when they realize they are not in control of the situation.
By saying no assertively and calmly, the narcissist, already used to always hearing your yes, will be surprised . While that person will definitely try to manipulate you at first (yelling, threatening, pretending to be the victim, etc.), if you keep saying “no” frequently, the narcissist will change their image of you – because likely until that moment saw you as a manipulable person – and will look for another victim.
2. I’m not afraid of you
One of the ways the narcissist manages to dominate and manipulate others is through fear and threats . Initially try to examine the other person’s weaknesses to use to your advantage in the future. If you tell him something intimate and private, it is very likely that at some point he will threaten to share it with other people. Also, they love to talk about the weaknesses of others to make them feel inferior.
Not taking him too seriously is a good way to show him that you are not afraid of such taunts . Let him get angry, it’s not your problem. And keep in mind that a narcissist doesn’t know how to deal with those he can’t intimidate.
3. The world doesn’t revolve around you
Each narcissist believes they are unique, special, and believes the other exists to meet their needs. The dynamics of the relationship with a narcissistic person are usually very irregular. One party gives too much without receiving anything in return.
If you want to end such abusive behavior, saying this sentence can be a good way to start. Especially if it is accompanied by a change in attitude. You should stop prioritizing the narcissist’s wishes and move on to take better care of your needs .
4. Don’t put pressure on me
Narcissists are usually impulsive, they don’t know how to wait, and when they want something they keep putting pressure on the other until they give in. They are very insistent, they get heavy. So if you don’t want to make a decision solely because of the pressure the narcissistic person exerts on you and you run the risk of repenting later, be clear and direct.
You might say, “I don’t like feeling pushed to make a hasty decision”, “I don’t feel comfortable and I don’t want to” or “I need more time to think and decide what to do”.
5. Don’t compare me to others
One of the strategies used by a narcissist to dominate someone is to make constant comparisons with others , highlighting what that person doesn’t have.
Constant confrontation is a way to belittle and humiliate and those who do so have the main goal of making us insecure in order to manipulate us.
One way to stop the manipulative narcissist from destroying your self-esteem is to ask him not to compare you to anyone. You can say, “I understand and respect your point of view, but I know my strengths, I know who I am and I won’t waste time with this kind of confrontation. Please, don’t compare me to others anymore ”.
6. Don’t change the subject
It can be overwhelming when someone changes the subject in the middle of a conversation, but when the other does so in order not to admit their mistakes or take responsibility for their actions, that game is very cruel.
Narcissists are adept at reversing situations to make it appear that the other is at fault. They play the part of the victim, twist the words and do everything they can to make him think they have done nothing wrong. So if you notice that a narcissist is trying to change the subject to avoid agreeing with you, refocus the conversation on the essential point of the matter. It is very likely that he will not admit his mistake, but he will know that he can no longer manipulate you so easily.
7. I don’t want to be with you anymore
This is perhaps the hardest phrase to say to a manipulative narcissist (man or woman), as ending a relationship with such a person takes a lot of strength.
“Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so strongly that you may even feel like giving up a part of your life when the relationship is over, because they are so good at becoming the center of your universe while you are with them.” Judith Orloff, psychiatrist.
However, if you have chosen to end the relationship, the most important thing is to try not to give in and be prepared for what is to come. The narcissist often hates rejection, so they won’t let you go that easily . But with determination and changing your behavior it is possible to break free.