Finding new love requires closure. And if you’re one of those people who spends days and nights thinking about your ex, this can be very difficult. The first step is to admit that there is a problem. The following 7 steps will help you do just that.
You study his social networks
It’s not so bad if the relationship ended peacefully and you didn’t unsubscribe from the guy’s social media pages. But if you demonstratively “rewarded” him with an unsubscribe on the day of the breakup, or even added him to the blacklist, but you yourself continue to regularly monitor pages from fake profiles and other delights in the name of anonymity, it’s time to ask yourself: why are you wasting your time? Whether he is happy or suffering – your life will not change in any way.
Comparing yourself to your new flame
Let’s be honest, you’re unlikely to be close enough to your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend to know all her pros and cons – and you can usually only find what the person wants to show on the Internet. In short, it’s a futile undertaking. Whether it seems to you that the man’s new chosen one has outshone you or that you are beyond competition – the most you’ll get is the opportunity to gloat, reveling in your fantasies, which may have nothing to do with reality.
Not against reunification
When the bitterness of separation passes, it may seem that you got carried away and missed your chance for happiness. But still, people do not make decisions to end a relationship just like that. Focus on what became an obstacle to the successful development of events and what this unsuccessful experience taught you – the mistakes of the past can only be corrected in the future: draw conclusions and move on without looking back.
Remember all the important dates by heart
Boyfriend’s birthday, his parents’ wedding anniversary – you don’t just remember all the “significant” dates associated with your ex, but live from one to another? It seems that you are too fixated on a young (or not so young) person who can no longer be returned. It’s time to “zero out” this calendar, especially if at the same time you accidentally ignore your own holidays and your loved ones. You won’t be able to erase the memory, but when knowing the dates loses its significance for you, you will be surprised how easy it is to forget all this naturally.
He dreams of you
Even if you dream about sex with your ex, it doesn’t mean you want him or her back, dream experts say. Your brain may just be experiencing a breakup in such a piquant way. It’s a different matter if a lot of time has passed and you are still being disturbed by such dreams. In your sleep, your brain processes the information it worked with while awake. Are you spending too much time thinking about the past?
You cry at “your” song
Don’t be ashamed of your sentimentality. Just admit that shedding a tear while watching something touching and crying with enviable regularity because of the association of a track with a past relationship are completely different situations. If you can’t contain your emotions a year or more later, it may be time to seek help in coping with grief from a specialist.
Are you jealous
Jealousy in a relationship usually speaks of mistrust, but outside of a relationship, oddly enough, of love. You still consider yourself the owner of a man and are not ready to share him with another girl. And then their fresh photos pour salt on the emotional wound: a beautiful wedding dress, a kiss at sunset – you could have been in this place. Do you catch yourself thinking like this? You still have a soft spot for your ex. But if even “this traitor” was able to start a new life, then you will probably succeed too!