Good friends surround those who know how to be friends themselves. Are you that very best friend for life? The following seven points will help you figure this out.
Open communication
Don’t expect your friends to read your mind. If you’re upset about something and are ready to share it, share it. True friends sympathize, and don’t spend days guessing what’s on each other’s minds and show off their sadness to gain interest in themselves. A good friend won’t be embarrassed by your revelations, because she knows that the fact that you shared them is a sign of complete trust. In addition, don’t be shy about thanking her and telling her how important it is for you to communicate with her.
Refusal of Condemnation
We don’t always accept ourselves “as is”, but close friends are people who, on the one hand, know us like no one else, and on the other, are able to see us from the outside. In order not to ruin the magic of close friendship, give advice only when you are asked for it. Or, in any case, ask yourself if your friend is okay with hearing your opinion. But the most important thing in true friendship is the so-called “safe zone”. The ability to share even the most secret things without judgment.
Mutual sympathy
It would seem that this point is obvious. But at the same time, many people continue to maintain relationships out of inertia or because they feel responsible for their so-called friends. Ask yourself whether you really enjoy spending time together, do you miss them when you are apart for a long time? True friendship cannot be a favor. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to open up to someone out of pity. By the way, a great test for friendly chemistry is silence. Awkwardness will tell you that you are not close enough. With a bosom friend, even in silence, you are completely comfortable
Balance
The ability to be friends implies a developed sense of proportion. Of course, true friends do not keep a notebook of favors and favors. Intuition will not allow you to infringe on the interests of a friend, and you will definitely return her investments in your relationship – not out of debt, but out of sincere gratitude. True friendship is always mutually beneficial, because both parties care about each other’s interests. If one is constantly giving and the other is taking, the friendship is unbalanced and eventually resentment arises.
Time for each other
You met after three years, and it seems as if there was no long separation? Great, this is a good start for friendship, but unfortunately it does not reach close communication. Mutual affection is something that is given to you without any effort. For the sake of friendship, you need to work hard: for example, meet at least once a month or at least call each other.
Ability to keep one’s word
In true friendship there is no place for coercion, just as there is no place for violence against oneself, but if you yourself gave your word, then be kind enough to keep it or at least have a heart-to-heart talk and explain yourself. Refusing to promise without an obvious reason will become a time bomb. One day, your friend will remember that you are not entirely trustworthy. You can chat with her, but you cannot be trusted with anything serious.
Productive” negativity
We all complain to our friends from time to time, but there is a huge difference between a person who is looking for a way out of a difficult situation no matter what, and a person who is looking for pity and sympathy, but is not ready to do anything to fix the situation. Constructive analysis of problems has nothing to do with whining. If you have difficulty assessing yourself from the outside, a sure sign of destructive complaining is abdication of responsibility. In such stories, anyone is to blame, but not you.