Keep these ideas in mind to assess whether a certain relationship is right for you.Have you spent time in a relationship that didn’t give you what you really wanted? Surely you have ever wondered “what am I doing here”.
Many people have had the experience of finding themselves in relationships that don’t make much sense , they don’t quite understand how they got there, and they still don’t understand how they stay in it.
Key ideas to know if you are in the right relationship
In this article we will give you 7 keys to choose your partner or that will help you assess if you are with the right person for you.
- Work on self-knowledge
Before entering into a relationship, it is sensible to do our homework of self-investigation and build a healthy relationship with whoever accompanies us at all times, ourselves .
Be very clear about who we are and the characteristics of our personality, both positive and negative, knowing our tastes well and what we base our beliefs on. Learn to manage our emotions by understanding everything that affects us, what we do not tolerate and therefore we are not willing to negotiate. We have to clarify everything we want and don’t want in a partner.
We must give ourselves the time and opportunity to cultivate self-esteem, confidence and respect towards ourselves, because, what love and comfort can I give and make the other feel if I do not have it with myself?
- Reflect on shared values
It is well known that the pillars in a relationship are based on love, respect, trust and assertive communication; And yes, it is the values that lead a healthy relationship, so we must compare our values with those of the other person and evaluate if they fit .
Of course, where love exists and we act from love, the person we have by our side will be impregnated with its fragrance, with the affection, attention, tenderness and details that it brings, also if we speak and act from love for ourselves, consequently the person next to us will also receive it and will feel loved, safe and confident.
Respect for ideas and individual spaces is essential , there is nothing that makes us feel more fulfilled in a relationship than having the feeling of freedom and confidence to be oneself as well as being able to enjoy separate plans.
In the same way, the communication style of the other, since healthy and assertive communication is essential for us to be able to say what we want or what we do not like with affection and with the intention that the other feels comfortable with what we say. we are expressing it, as well as being able to say no to something without feeling guilty about it.
- Measure the degree of attraction
Another area to take into account when choosing our partner is attraction, the one that brings us together from the first moment and that makes us look at the other with emotion, in that physical form with the detachment of its qualities, when speaking, when moving, when walking, eating, how it smells and everything that makes us feel the chemical spark and say: that person has something, I like that person!
This is an important part of the future relationship because it will be involved in the sexual sphere of the couple , and no, the sexual life will not depend entirely on the fact that the spark continues to be as intense as it was at the beginning, but it is undeniable that we must like our partner or we will not want to be with her.
Do the practice of closing your eyes and thinking of that person without their physical form, think about what they speak, how they say it, think about their sense of humor, the way they react to unexpected situations, so we know if the person they are you really like it or not.
- Pay attention to preferences
It is convenient to reflect on the tastes we have in common because it is one of the issues that makes the couple remain active, sharing moments and creating memories .
Trends in food, music, hobbies, activities, sports, dance, types of content we consume through reading and media, etc. All these make up the orchestra with which we write our song, from here the moments we share where we have fun are born and become part of why we like to be with this person.
- Maybe you’re interested: “The 12 basic communication skills”
- Dig into beliefs
Another important topic to consider is the beliefs we have about things.
What is inside our head constitutes our mental structure ; we have to be clear about where our ideas come from about religion, work, about our political position, what the couple relationship and family relationships mean to us, about the upbringing of children and their education, in addition to our position with regard to the planet we inhabit and what makes it up in general.
In the communion of beliefs with our partner, the stability of the relationship will be established, those basic beliefs on which we are going to build it and probably form a family.
- The world view
Without a doubt, the way we see the world conditions the way we act and react to it and its stimuli.
If we see it as a harmonious or hostile place, if we like or dislike it and how we feel inhabiting our space in it. The way in which we perceive it influences the attitude with which we unfold on a day-to-day basis in different circumstances.
Observing how the person with whom we want to establish a relationship (or who already have one) reacts and behaves . The indicator is the way of acting, expressing and relating with respect to others and to everyday situations, if he is always offended, complains and victimizes himself generating an irritating environment or if, on the contrary, he lives life taste and look for ways to get ahead and put resilience into practice by generating a pleasant climate.
This shows us the humor of the sea where our relationship will constantly navigate.
- Value the differences
Detecting forceful differences in time will prevent us from entering or staying in a difficult relationship , that is, one that compromises our well-being and principles.
No, opposite poles do not attract. All kinds of relationships, both family and work, friendship and partner; From experience we have realized that being with people who do not have many things in common, especially in coexistence, can make a relationship boring or toxic.
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There will be differences, yes, those that make us laugh and make the relationship humorous and fun. Also those that we do not like so much and that can make us uncomfortable, we must learn to accept differences or with intelligence and quality communication know how to negotiate them, understanding our limits and understanding that they are differences that do not affect the fundamental bases of the relationship.
