Many people still have a sense of shame and do not have confidence in themselves, so when having to attend a meeting, shame makes it unable to get new friends. Yes, it’s because we close ourselves and don’t dare to face other people . Shame and lack of confidence are bad qualities that can hinder career paths, make us unsure of our abilities and dare not set goals.
What is meant by shame itself?
Based on the encyclopedia about mental health, shyness is a situation that makes a person not feel comfortable to achieve his goals. Researchers say that shame is also passed down through genes. If you have shy parents, then most likely, you are also a shy person.
As the development of science and technology, scientists say that the number of people who have a shy nature increases. Why? Because technology has succeeded in creating automated machines that can talk. This makes us lose the opportunity to talk and interact with others, but cannot completely blame technological progress. Basically, technology also helps people who are shy in communicating. Yes, based on the survey, people who have a shameful nature are greatly helped by the presence of social media. They can communicate with many people without having to meet face to face.
Why can shame affect our career path?
We will not have a great career if we have shame and lack of confidence. In a job interview, we can clearly see that shyness can prevent yourself from performing optimally. If embarrassed, we find it difficult to answer the questions given. We might stumble and not dare to look into the interviewer’s eyes. Of course we will never get the job . Recruiters will see that we are not the right people to hire. Wow, if we can’t overcome it, it’s hard to get a job. We will always fail and fail again in the other interview process.
Research also shows that shyness can hold a person from starting a career and getting a promotion. If you feel ashamed, you will tend to reject any existing promotional offer. We feel that it is not feasible and unable to carry out these responsibilities. Then, when will success be achieved if we always close ourselves to new opportunities? For that, it is very important to get rid of shame and gain confidence so that we feel confident in our abilities. We will also always try to try new things and find new opportunities that lead us to improvement.
So, we must be willing and able to eliminate the shame that exists in each of us. Relieving shame is indeed not easy, but if you have a strong determination, you will be able to get rid of your shame and gain confidence. Well, how do you do it? Here are 6 ways to get rid of shame.
1. Start with small steps.
Challenge ourselves to do simple things that are feared every day, for example we are always afraid to start conversations with new people. Target that we should be able to start a conversation with one or two new people who might be met while we are waiting for the bus or spending time eating lunch at a place to eat. Gradually, we will feel comfortable and accustomed to this.
2. Find things that make us feel ashamed.
What makes us have that shame? If you know what makes us feel ashamed, it will be easy to get rid of it, such as having shame because it has an unfavorable appearance, then we can look for tips to improve appearance and start applying these tips.
3. Think about the strengths they have.
Believe that everyone has advantages in each of them. Think about the strengths we have every time we have shame. That way, our confidence will begin to grow.
4. Change the focus and mindset they have.
Shame creates the thought that everyone is staring and judging us. In fact, this is just our thoughts. They could be thinking about something else. For that, we need to change the mindset we have in order to get rid of that shame, for example, try to think that we are relaxing enjoying our favorite food. Slowly, this will change the fear in the mind. We will become calmer and be able to eliminate the shame in ourselves.
In addition to mindset, we also need to change focus rather than having to fill the mind with stressful things. Try to ask questions when dealing with others. That way, we no longer focus on the shame that exists, but rather focus on the answers given by the person. Every time we meet new people, try to ask a few questions and dig deeper information from the answers given.
5. Talk to yourself.
Saying positive things to yourself can eliminate the shame we have. So, stand in front of the mirror as often as possible and say positive good things. That way, we can increase our confidence and be amazed by the results later.
To get rid of shame, we shouldn’t avoid social relations. Even if we feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, we have to get used to being in a crowd. At first it may feel awkward, but gradually we will feel comfortable with this. Moreover, when socializing, we can practice communication skills and social skills. Slowly, slowly, we will grow into people who are confident and accustomed to being in a crowd.