Many people are unhappy with their relationships because of the lack of emotional closeness with their partner. If you want to receive care and attention, start giving them first.Many couples are so busy with work and children that they spend very little time alone together. If work doesn’t allow you to have a weekly date or go on vacation together, try these simple tips. They won’t take much time or effort, but they will help strengthen your relationship.
1. Touch your loved one
Scientists conducted in which couples watched a film together. The first group of subjects were forbidden to touch their partner while watching. And the participants of the second group had to touch each other all the time.
It turned out that the subjects from the second group were more confident in the love of their life partners . This feeling was not even hindered by the knowledge that the partner’s touch was a condition of the experiment. The subjects’ minds realized that they were not taken by the hand spontaneously, but they still felt much happier.
2. Don’t jump to conclusions
If your loved one has made a mistake, for example, not answered your calls for a long time, do not panic. Scientists that happy and unhappy couples differ in that they perceive and interpret the partner’s misdeeds differently.
Those who are unhappy in their relationships believe that any mistake their partner makes is a character flaw, not a consequence of the current situation. If someone doesn’t answer your phone, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. They may just be busy. Before you torture yourself with guesses, consider alternative reasons for their actions.
3. Imagine quarrels from the outside
120 married couples took part in , in which they completed surveys about their life together during the first two years of marriage.
During the first year, the relationship became less satisfying, which is common. After a year, some couples, when arguing, had to think about their disagreement with their partner from the perspective of a disinterested third party who wanted both of you to be happy. How would that person view your conflict? What benefit would they get for both of you?
This exercise had a positive effect on the subjects. During the second year of their life together, their relationship improved, unlike those who did not resolve the conflict from the outside.
4. Write down what you are grateful for in your partner
, participants were asked to write down once a week a few things their loved one did that helped strengthen their relationship. The other half of the subjects were asked to write down what they personally contributed.
Those who listed their partner’s merits were more interested in the relationship and were also more grateful to their other half than the participants who praised themselves. The experiment showed that you need to thank your loved one more often.
5. Accept compliments
Expecting to be neglected by your partner is destructive to relationships. People with low self-esteem may have a hard time believing that they are truly loved. So they are skeptical about their partner’s affection and compliments to avoid the disappointment of a possible breakup. This behavior can scare the other person away.
Scientists insecure people to recall unusual compliments they had received from a loved one. Simply describing the situation had no effect. Participants perceived the compliment as a lucky coincidence.
The subjects then thought about what their partner had praised them for and described how it meant something to them and their relationship. This helped them understand that their partner was showing love and care.
6. Celebrate small achievements
When your loved one tells you about their successes of the day, admire the news. Ask questions so that they can share with you even more joy and relive these moments.
Scientists the relationships of couples who followed this advice. It turned out that thanks to this, both partners were even happier about their successes. In addition, it brought them closer and strengthened their relationships.