Often children understand much more than it may seem. However, this is not a reason to hide your feelings better – rather, try to be a good example and avoid situations that can undermine the child’s trust. The following 6 things children will definitely notice – you need to keep this in mind.
Attitude towards other adults
When you roll your eyes at your child’s father or give your mother-in-law a disapproving look, it may seem like children are too naive to understand such things. However, you don’t have to be a college graduate or even an elementary school graduate to read nonverbal cues. They are also capable of perceiving criticism or negative comments about other adults in their lives, even if you try to disguise them as jokes or sarcasm. Such behavior can provoke anxiety – the child senses instability in the family. Make an effort and try to find something to praise your loved ones for.
True values
Educating by example is not just empty words. The younger generation absorbs not what you declare to them, but your own way of life and thinking. For example, you can instill in your child that sports are teamwork and an opportunity to spend time with friends in a healthy way. And then ask who won or who scored more goals today. Such contradictions are obvious to children. They distinguish words from your real approach to business and are guided by the latter.
Perception of one’s own body
Since children are essentially dependent on adults and, as a rule, spend a lot of time with their parents, they are sensitive to the mood of close adults. If a mother is unhappy with her reflection in the mirror, avoids revealing swimsuits and does not like to be photographed – all this does not go unnoticed by the baby. Children quickly learn which bodies are considered “good” and which are “bad”. Parents’ complexes, therefore, can be passed on by inheritance already at an early age. No child will feel ashamed of himself until he hears negative comments about himself or witnesses another person’s insecurity about his height, figure and other features.
Your relationship with food
Children pay attention to adults’ eating habits, as well as how and what they talk about food. Research shows that children tend to eat the same foods as their parents, both as children and as adults. Healthy eating habits and a healthy relationship with food are difficult to develop when the only meal at home on weekdays is cereal from a box, and mom or dad constantly snacks on sandwiches and skips meals. In addition, you should not try to make your child feel guilty – for example, for sweets. If your child really has overeaten them, create conditions for healthy eating, and do not make sweets “forbidden fruit.”
How do you feel about them?
It is important for any child to know that his parents love and accept him, no matter what.
Parents’ comments in conversations with other people can be very traumatic, even if they happen in another room and you don’t attach any importance to them. Comments like “Oh, she’s such a silly girl,” “My son gave me an absolutely amazing weekend” are unacceptable. The child may not fully understand the essence of your complaints, but they will definitely catch the fact that you are “embarrassing” them in conversations with strangers – this can negatively affect not only the child’s self-esteem, but also the relationship with you.
Attitude to mistakes
If your child takes a mistake at school personally, consider how you deal with difficulties yourself. Children pick up on things like attitudes toward mistakes, perfectionism, and unrealistic expectations. Parents who are overly hard on themselves inadvertently teach their children to be critical and harsh on their own achievements. These may seem like positive qualities for a future leader, but a much healthier approach is to view mistakes as learning opportunities without becoming overwhelmed or disappointed in yourself and your abilities.