We find out whether men are unfaithful more often than women, whether both partners are always to blame, and how this is related to income.
1. Cheating always destroys relationships.
It would be more accurate to say that cheating changes a relationship because it causes complex emotions in one or both partners and a sense of loss. The one who was cheated on may feel pain due to the loss of trust and security, obsessively replaying the scenario of the beloved’s affair in their head. The one who cheated often feels guilty. However, this does not necessarily mean that the couple will eventually break up or the relationship will deteriorate.
As psychologists note, sometimes after cheating, partners become even closer. But this will not happen magically. Both people must be focused on restoring the relationship and be prepared for the fact that it simply will not happen. You will have to work with the problem, including going through unpleasant feelings, difficult conversations, and so on.
However, this also does not mean that the expression “A good leftist strengthens a marriage” is so viable. Firstly, it assumes that the infidelity remains a secret. Secondly, infidelity still a popular reason for divorce.
2. Infidelity is always the fault of both
There can be dozens of reasons for a one-time affair or affair. :
- loss of feeling of affection for a partner;
- imbalance in the partners’ contribution to the relationship;
- ineffective communication;
- unresolved issues such as fear of intimacy or conflict avoidance;
- physical health problems;
- mental health disorders including depression, anxiety , or bipolar disorder;
- various kinds of addictions;
- stressful periods;
- personal dissatisfaction and low self-esteem;
- at partner;
- falling in love with another person;
- desire for variety in sex;
- alcohol intoxication;
- revenge .
And also, sometimes people cheat simply because they can: without any reason.
As you can see from the list, sometimes the second partner is actually involved in the situation in some way, but often he or she has nothing to do with it at all.
In any case, when it comes to the reasons for infidelity, it is important to separate the blame and responsibility in time . The latter is always on the one who cheated, it is his or her choice. In the case of, say, misunderstanding or a crisis, many things could have been done: talk, break up, go to a psychologist. But a person decides to have an affair on the side, no one forces him to do so. Talking about “both are to blame” blurs this responsibility
3. People usually cheat with strangers
A common plot in movies : the hero goes to a bar, drinks, meets someone and wakes up in someone else’s bed with a headache and a feeling of guilt. In reality, sex on the side happens with someone the person knows well. Moreover, before getting to the point of intimacy, people test the waters: they text, exchange photos, and so on.
4. In a new relationship, a person will not change
This myth is common among those who have been cheated on: “He (she) was just unhappy, but that won’t happen to me again, he (she) will definitely be faithful to me.” It happens. But overall, the statistics on this matter are not very optimistic. The likelihood of cheating for people who have already done it before. However, those who have actually crossed the line only once also exist.
5. People who are dependent on their partner do not cheat
This refers to economic dependence. There is an opinion that a person who does not earn anything and lives at the expense of a partner should be more faithful. After all, it will be hard for him outside of a relationship. In fact, it is the opposite: such people . Moreover, a financially dependent man is more prone to infidelity than a dependent woman.
There are also interesting data for the more successful partner in terms of money. As long as the man’s income is less than 70% of the family budget, the more he earns, the more faithful he is. And after reaching this level, it is easier for him to cheat again. A woman who earns more than her partner is more faithful regardless of her income.
6. Men cheat more often than women
Let’s put it this way: it’s not exactly a myth, men are a little more active in their infidelity, but the gap between the sexes . It’s also worth considering that such data is usually obtained from surveys, so you have to rely on the honesty of respondents. And it can be harder for women to admit to cheating because of social expectations .
At the age of 34, approximately the same number of men and women report infidelity. The difference begins to grow among older people and becomes more statistically significant over the years. For example, in the 20 to 29 age group, 11% of men and 10% of women cheat. In their eighth decade, 26% of men and 13% of women. Although this may be due not so much to age as such, but to people belonging to different generations that hold different views on the issue of fidelity.