For anyone who is afraid of adding to the sad statistics of divorces, we advise you to learn from the experience of others. The list contains six critical mistakes that will make your marriage fall apart.
Raising a child alone
Mom always plays a special role in the life of a baby: after all, you were inseparable for many months, and if you breastfeed, regular close contact is ensured after birth. But this does not mean that the father is not able to swaddle and bathe the baby, read fairy tales. Many women take care of the child under a noble pretext, but in the future this can lead to a number of problems. Firstly, the spouse will not be able to help you with raising the child, because he will not have the experience. Secondly, the younger generation is not able to establish an emotional connection with dad if he is just a man who comes home in the evenings and communicates exclusively with mom.
Manipulate grievances
Are you older than five? Then it’s time to learn to negotiate. If your husband has inadvertently hurt your feelings deeply, tell him that you need to take a breath before talking. Resentment can be a reaction, but it should not be an argument. The best thing to do in such a situation is to calmly sort things out. Intimacy between spouses is not only a shared bedroom, but also a willingness to communicate confidentially. It will always be better to say, “Your words hurt me and here’s why,” than “I’m offended, don’t touch me.” Demonstrative resentment will push away, and will not become a way to get your way, especially if you turn it on regularly.
To interfere in a man’s affairs
Let’s say you went on a vacation that went terribly, all because it was your husband’s first time planning the trip. Could he have foreseen all the nuances without the relevant experience? Hardly. There are two possible scenarios: you criticize everything you see, lecture your husband and curse his organizational skills, or you perceive what is happening with a smile, as a funny adventure that you can tell your friends about for hours. Guess who will have to organize the next trip if you choose the first option. Be a supportive ally, not a know-it-all parent: a mother’s position towards her husband destroys the relationship.
Throwing tantrums
Don’t let emotions ruin your marriage. Eccentricity may be appropriate at the stage of a passionate romance, but it should not set the tone of family life. If you allow yourself to hang up and turn off the phone, refuse joint plans because you did not like the emoticon he used in correspondence, or cry, accusing the chosen one of cheating, because he was late at work for the first time, sooner or later he will stop sympathizing with you and trying to calm you down. Not because he no longer loves you, but because such episodes have become a new norm and he does not take them seriously.
Issue ultimatums
“Either me or…” is a relationship killer phrase. After all, such a formula is absurd: a relationship with you assumes trust and mutual respect, and this requirement demonstrates the opposite. That is, a man hears the following: “I don’t value you at all, but you must give up what is important to you for my sake.” No person with healthy self-esteem would make such a deal. And rightly so!
Involve third parties in problems
If you want to humiliate a man and undermine his authority, feel free to complain about him in front of him, you can even do it as a joke – it will work anyway. “He’s so peculiar”, “he probably didn’t eat enough porridge as a child”, “I did it all myself, how can you rely on a man like that”. If you think that such statements will have an educational effect, we hasten to disappoint you. Rather, they will undermine your trust. Relatives do not humiliate each other in public, right? Even more absurd are attempts to involve parents in the proceedings: marriage is not a parent-teacher meeting