Women, it’s time to give our overly active brains a break.
Do him a favor (but mostly yourself) and stop looking for an underlying meaning for everything he does.
While we are analyzing too much, it is probably oversimplifying.
Here are the five ways you are probably over-analyzing your boyfriend (and how to handle it without looking like a psychopath):
- He Did Not Reply To Your Message
Exactly one hour, 37 minutes and 22 seconds have passed.
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What could he be doing more important than replying to your text message?
19:33: Maybe he’s taking a nap.
He loves naps.
19:37: He’s saving sea turtles from imminent extinction through rigorous science-based conservation.
He’s in a remote location and even getting water is a struggle, let alone cell service.
He didn’t get a chance to tell me why his passion for marine wildlife conservation paralyzed his ability to text.
19:41: He’s definitely ignoring me on purpose.
7:46 pm: HE’S CLEARLY cheating on me.
THERE IS NO OTHER POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THIS PROLONGED SILENCE.
19: 48: He texted back!
Does he still love me!
Thank God!
Let’s try not to be needy psychopaths.
If you are relentlessly anxious whenever you spend a minute without an answer, you are probably a stage five advocate and should make friends / find a hobby as soon as possible.
Now, if you assume that he is not responding to the message because he is too busy cheating on you, it is probably because you have trust issues in a previous relationship or because he gave you a reason to doubt him.
Remember that your confidence problems have nothing to do with him and will probably drive you away and therefore lead you to betray a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
However, if your man was unfaithful to you, understand that a relationship without trust is not a relationship at all.
See also: How to Trust Your Boyfriend: 12 Questions to Help You Decide
- Female Friendships.
So, your man is close to one or more women.
They have inside jokes that you don’t quite understand; they trust each other for relationship advice and you are reminded that “she is like a sister to me” from time to time.
She displays heavenly innocence and genuine sweetness, but you are convinced that she is conniving and malicious and secretly wants to sabotage your relationship and, subliminally, instill her hatred for you in your brain.
There are many variables to consider before deciding on an action plan.
Does he invite you when they leave?
Have they stayed in the past?
Are you feeling an underlying attraction?
If you are with the right guy, communicating your concerns about his female friendships in an open and mature way is extremely effective.
Unless you have a valid reason to be suspicious, it may be possible that you are simply unsure of yourself or your relationship (or both).
If so, acknowledge the problem and resolve it accordingly.
It would be a wise decision to make her your ally instead of your enemy, because chances are, when you two have an argument, she is the person he is venting to.
Go ahead and schedule a lunch.
- His Ex Called / Texted Him.
“I miss you,” she tells him.
Or… my favorite, “I’m happy for you”.
It is always a little nauseating when the woman he used to have an intimate connection with decides it’s a great time to remind him of his existence.
We will properly assess the situation before jumping to conclusions.
Did he tell you about the message / call or did you find it when he was lurking in your messages / call log?
If you choose the latter option, you will have a separate problem, much bigger than the contact of your man’s ex: you don’t trust him.
If not, you are already in a good place because he is being honest with you.
If you overreact, he will probably hide things from you in the future to avoid conflict.
Also, if you allow her undesirable progress to make you insecure, she has already won half the battle.
Pour a glass of wine and laugh at your pitiful attempt, why guess what?
He chose you.
See also: Does Your Boyfriend Talk To His Ex All The Time?
- Night With The Guys.
The guys brilliantly decided that they want to go to a pub tonight.
“I don’t have to go,” he lies.
No, but he wants to go and you must surprise him with his absolute approval.
Here’s why: having women in place or not, an evening with the boys is essential for both of you to maintain a healthy relationship.
No matter how much he loves you, he really doesn’t want to be with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
A man needs time to grow, think and breathe.
He needs to make inappropriate comments, eat like a disgusting idiot, and do all the things you think are disgusting.
If he wants to go to the pub or the convenience store to drink with friends, let him go.
In fact, encourage her to go and, while you’re at it, make plans to have a drink with your friends.
You may be pleasantly surprised when he decides to spend the night with you instead.
- He Liked The Photo Of That Girl On Instagram.
You are smoking.
The betrayal!
The debauchery!
How could he do this to you?
You are about to capture the evidence screen and attach it to an angry text message to your boyfriend.
Before embarrassing the rest of the female population, I suggest that you calm down and examine the facts.
The “double tap” mechanism on Instagram has become an automatic reflex for anyone who scrolls down their news feed, almost as a gesture of support for friends who display their attractive qualities on social media.
While many women may agree that it is disrespectful that their boyfriends express approval from other women on Instagram through “likes”, consider the concept of “look, but don’t touch”.
It applies on the street, so why is it different on Instagram?
Ultimately, he’s coming back to you.
You are the one he is spending time with and the one he is constantly thinking about.
The time you spend exploring who likes what on Instagram can be spent much more productively.
Seriously, don’t you have better things to do?