How to get better self-esteem? I get that question sometimes and there are several aspects that come into play. However, I believe that a general feeling that life is happy and rich contributes strongly positively. Life then takes on meaning and if you actively try to live a happier and richer life, it will rub off on your self-esteem. If you walk around and feel that life is wonderful, it is also easier to love yourself. But a happier and richer life is not at all about money, status or achievement. It is about creating the conditions to feel harmony. Here are my top five tips for achieving this harmony.
Live by the 80% rule.
I don’t believe in doing 100% and I’ll explain why. If you do 80%, you get a really good result. If you do 100%, a massive amount of work is required that is not proportional to the result you got. An example is cleaning at home. If you do 80%, the home will be clean, tidy and tidy. If you force yourself to always clean the home 100%, you must go down and dust every single molding, wash every tile floor and iron every single pair of underwear. The pleasure of getting a 100% result does not match the effort of making a 100% result. And I try to have this mindset in all aspects of life. It also means that you lower your standards, let go of the talented girl and stop chasing perfection. Which is still just an unattainable goal.
Go to bed on time.
If you’re like me, lack of sleep is DEATH to feeling good. If I don’t sleep well, I can become incredibly depressed. But I’ve noticed that if I go to bed at 10:30, fall asleep at 10 and wake up at 6, I have a perfect circadian rhythm. After just a few days, I start waking up at 05:59 by myself and am alert when I get up. Maybe that makes me a boring wife who always goes to bed early. But that makes me a happy wife. Because the quiet hours in the morning, awake alone before the family wakes up, are like pure meditation for me.
See everything you have instead of everything you don’t have.
Since I started living this rule, my life has become a million percent better. I never feel jealous. And if, against the odds, I get stuck in the comparison quagmire, I can quickly get out of there because I have this mindset in me. I don’t think “I wish we lived bigger”. Instead, I think “how lucky we are to be able to own a villa in Skanör”. I don’t think “I wish we had more money” but I think “how lucky we are to have finances that enable David to study for five years”. And that’s how I often feel. But of course, even the sun has its spots and when it comes to the area of body/exercise/food/health, I’m not quite as good at thinking. But much better than I was in the past.
Be inspired not jealous.
There is one thing that kills self-esteem and that is the black, dirty and sticky jealousy. In my opinion, this is the worst quality you can have. It’s such an ugly feeling that blackens everything and it makes people envious. If you see someone who has what you don’t have, you have two choices. Either you accept that that person has different conditions than you and then you continue to live your life by focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t have. Or you become happy for the person and allow yourself to be inspired to achieve what the person has/is/does. But walking around being envious, bullshitting, jealous and bitter are the worst feelings because it doesn’t just make you destructive to those around you. It also makes you destructive towards yourself.
Take responsibility for your well-being.
Don’t live life by just going with the flow. You are worth investing time in. Take the time to feel for what you really want in life and then do it. Stop doing things you “should” do because that’s what you think others expect of you. If you feel bad, seek help! If you want to be healthier, make a change small steps at a time. If you get depressed and stressed by perfection in social media, slow down your use or actively choose which ones to follow instead. If something is a problem and chafing in your life, address it. Don’t let life pass you by just because you didn’t have the strength, courage or self-love to face life.
Now it may sound like I have a full grasp of all these things. That is of course not the case. I have good days and bad days like everyone else. I have an inner image of how I should eat, exercise and look that I don’t quite achieve in reality. You know that I also struggle with weight, body-friendly eating and regular exercise. BUT, by trying to live by these rules yourself, the problems become manageable and they are no longer allowed to grow very large. Instead, I try to do my best, but only up to 80%. That’s enough for me.