We tell you how to increase your chances of pleasant dates and recognize red flags in your interlocutor at the correspondence stage. We have collected all the recommendations based on the materials of the guide “Safety and Tips” from the service ” VK Dating “.
1. Talk about yourself, but not too much.
To avoid starting a conversation with a stranger with banalities or ridiculous attempts at flirting, leave them with clues that will lead to a more specific dialogue. Indicate your profession in your profile, list a couple of hobbies, remember your favorite films, or immediately offer to discuss the last book you read in the chat. The main thing is not to share too much personal information even in correspondence.
To increase your chances of meeting someone, it is reasonable to look for interlocutors in your city. But when communicating with people you don’t know well, disclosing your home or work address is risky. That’s why dating services try to protect users. For example, in the “ VK Dating ” app, you can meet people who are nearby, but it is impossible to see their specific location. If a new interlocutor asks for your home address from the first messages, be careful. There is a high chance of running into a stalker, not a gallant gentleman.
By the way, VK Dating has its own guide, which contains materials with advice on safe online dating, as well as articles from psychologists about various aspects of relationships and breakups.
2. Pay attention to red flags in correspondence
Sometimes you can understand a lot about a person from their chat messages. If the phrase “Get in the shower — and without me!” is most likely just a ridiculous attempt at sexting or a manifestation of post-irony, then “Why are you taking so long to respond, you’re online!” is quite enough to raise an alarm bell. It clearly shows disrespect for personal boundaries and an attempt to control communication.
Another red flag is criticism and value judgments. Especially if you didn’t ask for either. You should also be careful with those who paint a saccharine picture of a shared future from the first messages. Creating the illusion of a soulmate is a favorite psychological trick of scammers. When the victim of online courtship falls for the bait, they start to squeeze money out of her: for tickets, treatment, or business development for the benefit of the future family.
The VK Dating Guide to Safe Dating recommends always listening to your intuition. If something in the tone of the conversation does not suit you or raises doubts, it is better to close the correspondence and ban the unpleasant interlocutor.
3. Don’t rush to switch to messengers and pay attention to verification
Chatting in the usual way is, of course, more convenient, but it is better to wait until a face-to-face meeting. Firstly, while the interlocutor sends you hearts in the VK Dating app, you are protected by algorithms: you can end the correspondence at any time and leave no digital traces. Secondly, if the date disappoints, you will not stumble upon unpleasant memories in contacts.
By the way, to increase your chances of a successful match in the app, you can verify your profile. Your rating will increase by 20%, and your profiles will be shown more often in your feed. Blue check marks will also tell you that your interlocutor is a real person, not a bot with fake photos.
4. Choose familiar places for first dates
Meeting someone you barely know can be stressful. The desire to make a good impression, worrying about financial matters, awkward pauses — to avoid ruining your mood, you should treat the first date as a pleasant but non-committal conversation. Your goal is to get to know the person better, so it’s best to go somewhere where you can chat. However, between an apartment and a public space, it’s always better to choose the latter. VK Dating has a selection of cool places in Moscow and St. Petersburg — you can take the ideas on board or look for similar locations in your city.
5. Be prepared for failures
Feelings are unpredictable: just because you had a great date doesn’t mean the other person feels the same way. Emotionally, it’s best to take things slow and careful. It’s easier to deal with failures and move on if you don’t build your dream future with someone you’ve only met a couple of times. Allow yourself to feel hurt, angry, sad, disappointed, but remember that one bad date doesn’t mean you’ll never find a partner with a similar outlook on life.
To reduce the risk of failure, look for interlocutors with similar interests. For example, in ” VK Dating ” a special algorithm selects profiles based on people’s interests. It analyzes the data that users provide during registration. This does not guarantee that you will meet a cool guy or girl from the first match, but the chances of pleasant dates will increase.