Let’s be honest, we’ve all dreamed of our Prince Charming. We all imagined the perfect man, the one who would give butterflies in the stomach.
The one that would make us believe in great love, respect and loyalty. We know it’s utopian but we really want to believe it.
When I was little, I imagined my Prince Charming as a tall, strong, handsome and chivalrous man.
He corresponded to the perfect image all little girls had of their ideal man. His smile was perfect, he was kind and gentle. And, he was madly in love with me.
My dream was however quickly shattered into a thousand pieces. And, over the course of my various romantic experiences and disappointments, I learned that fairy tales don’t always reflect reality.
Prince Charming may not exist, after all. Or, it may be very well hidden. But, after all, it might be better this way!
Today, I realize that what I’m looking for is an imperfect man. Someone a little crazy and hectic. In other words, I want a real and real partner.
So, my future dear husband, this is what I want for us: I want us to learn, grow and laugh together.
I want us to share amazing adventures and love each other for the rest of our lives.
I want to live in the present while anticipating the future. I abandoned the idea of prince charming because, in the end, it absolutely did not suit me.
I am not perfect. So why would I be looking for someone who is? Besides, does perfection really exist? I do not believe.
I think you find your ideal partner and the imperfectly perfect man for yourself but I don’t think our definition of the term “perfect” can really exist in one person.
I need someone who will always be by my side and who will understand that life can be difficult.
I want a man who will try as much as I do to make our romantic relationship work.
In short, over time my list of requirements for my new version of my ideal spouse has changed. Each new disappointment in love has taught me something fundamental.
And, I’m glad I had the opportunity to experience some toxic, narcissistic, or completely dumb men.
Yes, I know this may sound strange to read. But, I am truly grateful for everything these men have taught me.
At the time, these romantic relationships were really difficult to manage and live. The separations were also just as painful.
Still, I came out stronger, mature and responsible for each of them. It took a long time, of course, but I finally understood.
Without these experiences, I would not be the woman I am today. So, I don’t regret anything. All I can do now is move on.
The conditions that my future husband will have to fulfill
Over time, I ended up learning what I really wanted out of a romantic relationship. I understood that criteria like beauty or physique in general were completely superficial and temporary.
Thanks to my romantic failures, I ended up achieving what I never wanted to accept from a partner again.
I also managed to put together a small list of quality that my future husband must have to succeed in convincing me to spend my life with him.
I’m sure this list will change and grow until I find my soul mate, but right now it boils down to five key things.
1. My future husband must support me.
I am not a trophy woman and have no intention of becoming one. Although at times it can sounded like fun.
I have dreams, goals and ambitions and I aim high. I don’t want to put it all aside just to be accepted by my partner.
So please try to figure out where I’m going and hold my hand along the way.
I need you to support me and be there to celebrate my victories and help me pick myself up after my failures.
And, don’t worry, I’ll do the same for you. I will always be there to support you in whatever you do. And, that, in my eyes, is the definition of a perfect romantic relationship.
2. He should reassure me about my concerns.
I prefer to warn you right away, I will surely ask you some weird questions. And, sometimes, it might cause you to question my sanity.
I don’t expect you to play the game with me in all my crazes, but every now and then throw stones at me.
If, for example, I ask you if you will like me even if I put on 80 kilograms, reassure me by saying yes.
Then give me a gym membership. You never know … If I ask you if you will stay by my side even if I fall ill, do not hesitate to give me a whole monologue on eternal love.
All kidding aside, I know some crazy ideas are going to cross my mind. I’m just asking you not to judge me for this.
3. My future husband sometimes has to bring me back to earth.
I often have my head in the clouds. I imagine an idyllic life with a successful job, a financial situation close to that of football stars and a perfect husband.
I always dream of what will happen tomorrow, in a week or in a year. But, I have to be honest: these thoughts terrify me sometimes.
So you have to bring me back to earth from time to time. Remind me of the importance of living in the present.
Otherwise, I’m going to miss out on precious moments dreaming of what could have or what could happen.
4. He must explore the world with me!
Every year, we have to go and discover a new place. It doesn’t have to be at the end of the earth.
It can be a quaint little village an hour’s drive from our place. Or, a new wine cellar that just opened in the next town.
We must also return to the places that are dear to us. Like, for example, the place where we met or where we fell in love.
We also have to visit the place where you proposed to me and the place where I fell into a hole.
Believe me this kind of thing will happen more often than you think. I am a little clumsy.
But, at least, we will keep good memories and we will revisit these places with nostalgia and joy deep in our hearts.
5. My future husband must be patient with me.
This condition is extremely important. Why ? Because I have to admit that sometimes I behave like crazy.
I speak quickly and sometimes I don’t think until I open my mouth. I can also react disproportionately to completely innocuous situations.
I can get mad at the behavior of a person who has absolutely nothing to do with me and I am quite capable of asking you to go and trade that ice cream that you kindly gave me just because it started to melt.
“You are 5 minutes late…. Arghhhhhhhh ”. Yes, I know… It may sound excessive, but sometimes I have trouble controlling myself.
But, you have to understand one thing: I react like this because I have a lot of passion for the world around me.
So you have to learn to love my flaws and my madness rather than trying to control them.
The last condition that I haven’t mentioned yet is the most obvious. And, I thought to myself that because it made so much sense, it shouldn’t be on the list per se.
My future husband must love me! And, I promise you one thing: I will love you unconditionally and with all my heart.
I’m just asking you to give me the same honor in return. And, I would do everything in my power to make our life a true fairy tale.
Not a fairy tale like I dreamed of when I was little, but a true earthly paradise where two very real people love, respect and mature together.
I don’t pretend to have all the keys to having a healthy, happy, and stable relationship. But, I know what I want.
And, I don’t intend to lower my standards just to avoid being alone or out of fear of being stigmatized by society.
I am ready to wait as long as it takes for my ideal partner. The perfect man for me is the one who will make me fall in love with him every day, every moment and every second of our life together.
