Behind the euphoria of mutual love, it is important to be able to discern not only your chance for happiness, but also the prerequisites for grandiose problems. The following 5 points will help you understand that your relationship is developing according to a vicious scenario.
Neglect of responsibilities outside the relationship
In any relationship, it is important to adapt to each other, but your new partner is not the only person in the world, and you have obligations to other people: be it your mother, best friend or colleagues at work. If you find yourself ready to burn all bridges just to have more time to adore your man, then know that this situation is unhealthy. In severe cases, people ignore reality – for example, they may not answer calls and skip work, and in relatively harmless cases – they forget about their hobbies. The partner becomes a black hole, taking up all your time and attention.
Fateful decisions soon after meeting
You met him and your life changed, we understand. However, try not to decide anything hastily and give yourself time to think, even if the answer seems obvious. Relationship experts advise using a simple rule: “no signatures in the first year.” This is not only about the registry office, but about any fateful documents. A resignation letter, joint rent, and especially loans can wait. A few months, unfortunately, is too short a period to test the strength of a relationship. Give yourself at least a year before radically changing your life for the sake of another person.
You are adjusting
This point is not about changing weekend plans, it’s much more serious. It’s hard to call a relationship healthy if you disguise some of your true preferences and characteristics by being more “appropriate” to your partner. For example, you convince yourself that you like their taste in music, or suddenly become “quiet”, even though you’ve never been one. Although mutual influence is a natural process, you shouldn’t sacrifice your own individuality even for the sake of the most inspiring romance. You’re not going to pretend for the rest of your life, are you?
The social circle narrows to one person
Time spent alone with each other is an integral part of a romantic relationship. However, what you have in common with your significant other cannot replace society, even if it seems to you to be the center of the universe. If you are gradually distancing yourself from your loved ones, look at the situation from the outside. Is this really your decision or is the process skillfully produced by your partner? Gaslighters and abusers like to create situations where the victim literally has no one to turn to. Try not to find yourself in such a situation.
Ignoring warning signs
Another sign that your love has taken an unhealthy turn is the total idolization of your partner. You idealize a man so much that you do not notice obvious incompatibility and are able to justify any shortcomings. When problems are brewing and they cannot be ignored, optimistic slogans about “all-forgiving love” and destructive formulas for family happiness like “if he beats you, it means he loves you” come into play. At first, blindness to red flags will teach you to turn off critical thinking, but in the long term, the consequences can be unpredictable.