Personal growth is a journey of inner discovery, a lifelong journey because it is not a destination but a journey. During this journey we are acquiring different psychological tools that allow us to observe our mind, understand ourselves better and learn to flow with the changes.
This growth path is unique and there are several ways to walk it. Some people resort to coaching sessions, others prefer to enroll in a personal growth course or even follow spiritual teachers. However, no matter which path you choose, we all go through a series of stages of personal growth to achieve transcendental inner change that are the foundation of that transformation. Knowing them will allow us to understand where we are on the road.
The stages of personal growth that promote liberating change
- Self-awareness
Many people live without knowing each other. They are real strangers to themselves. They choose the path of denial, ignorance and avoidance of problems, inner conflicts and weaknesses. As a result, it is not strange that they end up developing self-destructive behaviors, feel stuck in their lives or are not happy.
Therefore, the first step on the path to self-development is to look within. Self-knowledge is vital to realizing our flaws and weaknesses, as well as feeling proud of our successes. It allows us to discover who we really are to develop a deep understanding of ourselves and the life we lead.
Only then can we begin to address our problems, instead of ignoring or avoiding them, and realize our strengths and potential to become the person we want to be and build the life we desire. Self-knowledge courses can be a good starting point to discover our “personal capital” and appropriate the psychological tools we need.
- Acceptance of shadows
Acceptance is usually one of the biggest challenges in the personal development journey because it’s hard for us to recognize and accept our shadows, those parts of ourselves that we don’t like or even reject. But self-knowledge must go hand in hand with acceptance.
If we try to change without accepting ourselves, we won’t be able to overcome feelings of guilt or shame and we won’t feel completely satisfied or happy with the results, even if we have achieved our goals.
Acceptance is, in a way, similar to forgiveness because it doesn’t involve liking some of our characteristics or justifying our bad decisions, just letting go of the associated anger, contempt, or disgust. It’s about accepting who we are, without judging ourselves, with neutrality and love, and then making the changes that allow us to grow.
This kind of acceptance leads to a deep sense of self-love and prevents us from wasting precious energy fighting ourselves or punishing ourselves for who we are or what we have done, to avoid getting stuck in those negative feelings.
- Take responsibility for our well-being
“Living means taking responsibility for finding the right answer to the problems it raises ,” wrote Viktor Frankl. Growing up involves taking charge of our lives because we understand that our happiness and psychological well-being largely depend on the attitude we take towards the world.
In this stage of personal growth we finally understand that while we cannot choose our circumstances, we can decide how to respond to them. However, realizing that we are ultimately responsible for our own lives and happiness can be scary because it means we stop looking for scapegoats for our dissatisfactions and failures.
Either way, when we stop wasting energy on the things we can’t change, we can focus on the things that make a difference. When we take responsibility for our lives, making our own decisions, we stop living reactively and start living proactively.
- Planning and implementation
Knowing and accepting yourself is of little use if it does not lead to behavioral and attitudinal change. Most people tend to get stuck in this stage of personal development. They know what to do, but they don’t do it, usually due to a lack of discipline and motivation or because they don’t have a clear plan to follow.
As a result, they end up reverting back to their old ways. Old thought patterns regain strength and our mind can sabotage us by destroying all the work done to reactivate the ghost of old fears, insecurities and guilt.
This is why it is important that every personal development path also has an external projection and is accompanied by concrete projects that allow us to take the necessary steps to build the life we desire. Channeling this inner change in actions will allow us to improve self-efficacy and reassert ourselves on our path.
- Find personal meaning
In this stage of personal growth we learn to live with purpose and intention. We live more consciously, we accept ourselves and take responsibility for our decisions but, above all, we find the purpose that gives meaning to our existence.
It’s about finding what Viktor Frankl called the “will to make sense”, which implies knowing how to discern the essential from the superfluous, having clarity about our values and setting significant goals for the future so as not to let ourselves be defeated by circumstances, no matter how much tough they can be.
Of course, this stage of personal development is not the end point because we never stop growing and knowing ourselves, but it does imply that we have reached a point in our lives where we have developed patience, perseverance, wisdom, courage, humility, and the strength necessary to follow our path, the one we have chosen.