Many of us envy people who can seemingly talk and hang out with anyone without the slightest visible effort. Just accept that some are better at playing the social game than others – but there are simple little tricks to improve their own social skills:
1. Focus on who you are
Where yourself is a common piece of advice – but it is not so easy if you feel uncomfortable in social contexts. Then it is easy to compare yourself with those who seem to thrive best, imitate their behavior and try to step into a similar role. But it’s just going to be bad theater. Think about it – what unique qualities and stories do you have that you can contribute?
2. Do not try to impress people
Social context is not a competition about who is richest, most handsome or most successful – well, it is in some cases! But as a rule, it’s just about just hanging out and talking. Remind yourself that you do not have to impress everyone you meet. Everyone plays the social game in their own way – and there is no right or wrong way!
If you feel that you do not have much to talk about or just feel uncomfortable talking to strangers, listen and smile. It is enough. You would be surprised if you heard afterwards that everyone at the party remembers you as a nice person – even though you did not say bottle. Listening is perceived as polite and social and laughing… yes, that is the secret to success in all situations. (Yes, maybe not for Marie-Antoinette, then.)
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4. Give someone a compliment
You do not have to throw yourself into wild, complicated discussions about all the mysteries of the world. To make a good impression, it is enough that you give someone a compliment in passing (“Nice shoes” or “Nice jacket”) means that you only pick up plus points in the social game without really making a significant effort. And you are guaranteed to leave the party with a positive impression in the minds of the other guests.
5. Think about your body language
Another way to appear more comfortable and confident in the context. Straighten the back. Do not stand with your arms crossed. Smile (again) and keep eye contact with people talking.