Everyone can free elderly relatives from oppressive loneliness, make them feel needed and happy. The main thing is not to put it off.
Psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist Yulia Bukinga notes that in old age, a person experiences loneliness when he or she faces losses that follow one after another. The loss of former health, friends, familiar income and opportunities.
Loneliness becomes especially acute when there is a forced (sudden or gradual) isolation from the outside world: a person gets sick, loses mobility, goes out less, spends almost all the time alone with himself.
But even in such a situation, you can captivate and occupy an elderly person. Here are five simple ways.
1. Listen
And never get angry if your elders repeat the same thing for the hundredth time. In old age, people forget what happened last week, but they definitely remember “that day at the university” and what they loved to do in their youth.
Perhaps grandma will suddenly admit that she loved to draw and dreamed of going to St. Petersburg, but it never happened. So ask her to draw a picture, help your great-grandson with his art homework, or organize a family trip .
And grandparents know things about your family that no one else will tell you. You will understand all this if you just listen. Ask questions, ask again and clarify. Show interest.
In some cases, this is not easy and requires persistence, patience, strength, and ingenuity. External events in the lives of grandparents become few. But older people always have events in their inner life, their feelings, memories, experiences, perceptions. Grandparents may think that this is not worth talking about. Convince your relatives that this is not so.
2. Teach new things
If you live far away, but can teach your grandparents computer literacy, be sure to do so. Then you will be able to communicate via video link, if you can’t meet often. And for your relatives, it will be unusual and interesting.
3. Speak
Talk about your daily life. Have you ever noticed that even an elderly neighbor you barely know asks how you are doing? It is important for grandparents to be involved, do not leave them out of your life. And never be shy about saying words of support and gratitude.
Not all grandmothers like to knit. Not all grandfathers happily run to play dominoes. But you know the wishes of relatives. The most important thing for them is attention, which can be shown in different ways.
4. Help with household chores
And don’t wait until someone starts persuading you. See how Grandma has a hard time getting the jars from the top shelf? Do it yourself! You can help discreetly: wipe the dust, rinse the dishes, straighten the carpet.
The key here is not to overdo it. If you are overprotective, the person may feel helpless or think that you consider them helpless.
If your relatives are still physically active and don’t mind going for a walk, feel free to take them with you. To parks, cafes, especially to the theater, concerts or a simple family dinner.
5. Take care of your health
It often happens that our relatives remain silent until the very end about something that is troubling them, they do not want to bother and complain. Unfortunately, such silence leads to the most terrible consequences.
Be attentive to your loved ones, because many illnesses are noticeable from the outside. Always inquire about the health of your grandparents, but do not suffer from paranoia (read the previous point).
When loved ones are nearby, we don’t notice it. We don’t consider it something special and think that it will always be like this. We know for sure that there is almost a whole life ahead, so we can visit next week. And if it doesn’t work out, then at the end of the month. There will be time. Believe me, it doesn’t happen that way.
Grandparents may deny it for a long time and call themselves a burden, but don’t believe them, use every opportunity to make their lives rich and bright .