Emotions allow us to establish a close connection between people, and parent-child relationships are no exception. Sometimes parents, without even realizing it, withhold love and support from their children on a regular basis, which entails long-term consequences. We suggest you familiarize yourself with the signs of emotionally unavailable parents to make sure that you are not one of them.
Lack of communication
The main currency in a relationship with a child is not the money spent by the mother on a new toy, but attention. It is not enough to be in the same room – it is important to be able to listen to the little person and take the problems voiced seriously, even if they seem like a mere trifle to you. For various reasons, some parents may find it difficult to have meaningful conversations with their child – ultimately, misunderstandings grow, and there is no talk of closeness. Such children often leave the family early.
Excessive demands
Parents who make unreasonable demands on their child may have the best of intentions and convince themselves that they are acting in the interests of the heir. However, it is not worth neglecting the mental state of children – due to the moral pressure of adults, they may become despondent, disappointed in their parents and harbor resentment. In such a case, distancing is inevitable. You need to listen to the child’s own desires no less than to your own.
Failure to provide support
Modern psychologists advise adults to verbalize their child’s feelings: “you’re sad,” “you’re upset,” and so on. Emotionally unavailable parents are usually stingy with any comments at all. Did the child get an A? It’s his responsibility to study well. Did he win the game? So what? If the inability to acknowledge success is only half the trouble, the lack of adult support in difficult times makes the child feel lonely in the company of his own parents.
Lack of empathy
Not all of us can boast of developed empathy and the ability to understand our child at a glance. However, it is important to at least avoid making gross mistakes: if the baby expresses his love, be it hugs or a homemade card, the worst thing a mother can do is ignore it. Be sure to give feedback – be it a reciprocal gesture or pleasant words. It is difficult for a child to learn to communicate while in emotional isolation.
Priority to your own needs
Emotionally unavailable parents usually put their needs or desires above the desires and needs of their children. This does not mean that you can only be a good mother if you please your child in everything and practice overprotection. It is not about extremes, but about respect for the little personality. You cannot devalue the ideas and desires of children – you do not want the baby to feel unimportant and not very needed in his own family, do you?