One psychological expert suggested that In order for our dear children to be successful, we must supplement Self-Efficacy.Or the strong self-awareness of the child To be the foundation of Self-esteem or self-esteem. But what most parents do is Treating children as “The creator of the child” is to map the life of the child to everything. Both dressing School selection Choosing a school line Friends selection, faculty selection, university selection To the choice of a career ever And I am very proud that my child can do it as planned. Without knowing at all whether the child is happy or not Which statistics from the Mental Health Hotline 1323 of the Department of Mental Health The Ministry of Public Health said that in 2019, teenagers aged 11 – 19 called to consult about 10,000 mental health hotlines and mental health problems. The most common is stress / anxiety, accounting for 51.36%. This also does not count towards the teenagers who did not call 1323 the mental health hotline.
What is really difficult in today’s world? If the child is not really strong and difficult Which is a problem for children being raised by parents who are “Child creators” tend to be submissive (Passive), have less Self-Efficacy, and less Self-esteem. Self-Efficacy is not healthy, it will make our children unhappy in life. Can’t solve life problems Do not dare to ask for advice from us. Because he sees us as “in control”, not “giver of love”
So is it better or not? If we are to transform ourselves from “creator” parents to “controllers” to parents who actually make their children happy in life, the Nigerian family psychology writer Julie Lythcott-Haims has said. In the Ted Talk stage, “In order for our children to be successful, we have to strengthen Self-Efficacy. Of your child to be strong To be the foundation of Self-esteem ” in 5 ways.
- Do not limit your child’s success just about learning.
From my 31 years of experience, I have seen that “studying is not everything in life”, but in life it is necessary to have knowledge. And experience, so the first item of advice to supplement Self-Efficacy A typical family psychology expert is to encourage children to learn. And have experience in life But do not force your child to learn what we “want” to let the child learn all children, even if the same parents have different interests and interests. And ask to open your mind about career In your child’s future Because in the 21st century, what profession, if I have love? And it doesn’t make anyone in trouble, it’s good, whether it’s a rapper, a dancer, a chef, a singer, a cover, bonsai planting, and many others. We just encourage him to find the right way. And does not pressure him to do the job that we “want” to do
- Train your child to help himself. Starting from housework
Psychological research from the Harvard Grant Study found that teaching children to do housework There are many long-term benefits. Because our children will be prepared to work in the future, practice planning. Practice prioritizing Practice solving problems immediately, dare to think, dare to decide, practice order and most importantly, will make our children Self-Efficacy and Self-esteem follow, but having children do housework In the beginning, we had to help the child enough, and then gradually let the child take responsibility for matters, because if throwing all the housework for the child to do You will pour us for sure.
- Giving sincere love to your child
Psychological research from the Harvard Grant Study found that happiness in life Corresponds to receiving love, that is, the more our children receive love. He will have more happiness in life only. But it must be unconditional love, your reader It’s not like that your child entered this school first. Mom to show love Because if so The child will feel that “I have to live up to my parents’ expectations before they can love them.” When the child is unable to meet our expectations Will make your child at risk of depression Or against parents very high because the children do not have both Self-Efficacy and Self-esteem
- Pay attention to the right points
By paying less attention to academic performance But pay more attention to the feelings of the children With a simple method, ask the children how is learning? Are there any problems at school? Does it get along well with friends?
Is there a joy in life? What do you want your parents to add? Show of care Listen to the happiness and suffering of children just as much. We can change our role in the eyes of our children from “creator” to “giver of love” and can also promote Self-Efficacy Of children to be strong and have a suitable Self-esteem
- Reduce control, increase advice and adjust the role of advising the child.
Readers probably have felt “annoyed” and “frustrated” with our own parents, no matter how old we are. You still see us as a child who has to command Waiting for all things to be irritated? If you, the reader, do not like the feeling above. I would like to not have to treat our child as if he stopped his age at 5 years old. We are the one who gave birth to him. But life is your own, so we are not the ones who control where your children go. We can only be a travel companion, a mentor, mentor and by our side on the day he needs it.
In a world that is changing fast Self-Efficacy and Self-esteem are essential to help us live happily. Which you, the reader who are parents or want to suggest methods The experts in psychology recommend all 5 ways to go and tell your parents, it’s happy because the happiness of the children today will make their life successful next day.
And if any parent who wants to develop her consulting skills A critical skill for modern parents Increase the ability to build trust in each other in the family Especially parents and teenagers Come and be a part in learning consulting skills with Istrong.