All our lives we are forced by what should make us happy. For example, a good career, a big house, a fast car, many friends, a significant partner, the list goes on. But what if we get all this, and yet we are not happy ? You may object, “Oh, that’s not possible. If I have all this, I can’t help but be happy !”
Satisfied people seem to believe that a good career and a lot of money guarantee that they will always be happy. However, this is a misconception, as many people are not happy with their lives, even though they have everything they could dream of. In fact, they find themselves depressed despite their seemingly desirable lives. Why is this happening? Why do some people feel unhappy even though all their wishes come true? The truth is, they don’t even know.
Many would say to such people that they are acting selfishly and that they should be grateful for what they have. But what the former do not understand is that there is no such thing as a definition of happiness. One person may be happy with their life, while another with the same life may be severely depressed. If this were not the case, then those at a disadvantage in the world would be sad and unhappy because of the lack of money or possessions. However, this is not the case – many people with a difficult fate are actually happy and love their lives.
In the trap of depression, so many people begin to feel hatred for themselves because they have fallen into a rut when everything seemed to be going well for them. This often worsens their condition and can lead to self-harm. Therefore, it is not a good idea to claim that they are selfish about feeling the way they feel.
Are you in a similar situation? If so, what could improve things?
If you feel helpless and uncertain about the future, you can consult a practicing psychologist. But first, answer some important questions to give an idea of whether you are happy with your life as it is. Keep in mind that these are not closed questions that you can answer “yes” or “no”, and you will have to think long and hard about them.
1. What would you do if you knew you weren’t going to fail?
Sometimes we give up what we want just because we are afraid that we will not succeed in it. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but don’t dare? If you had a 100% guarantee of success, then what would you do? Your desire may have been to be a doctor, an astronaut or even a singer, an artist. We will not tell you to abandon the life you have built and focus only on that. But whatever your desire, it would help a lot if you somehow made it a part of your life.
2. How would you introduce yourself to someone in 90 seconds?
Think of this question as a job interview, only not as if you are applying for a job, but rather as describing yourself to someone you want to be friends with. Would you persuade him to make friends with you by introducing himself to him? If you were in his place, would you be friends with yourself? What is important to you? What do you want to do?
3. What are your core values?
This is an important question, because your values as a person will give you something as a guide on how to live your life. They will tell you what is good and useful for you. Think about what you hold most dear in your life. Maybe your family or your job?
4. What makes you truly happy?
This issue is closely related to your core values. For example, would you be really happy if you got a job that involved a lot of travel, if you actually valued your family more than your job? Think about what you wanted when you started your career, and whether you fulfilled those desires or not.
5. If money wasn’t a problem, what would you do with your life?
Money is not all. In fact, a great quote reads, “Some people are so poor that all they have is money.”
Think beyond your financial situation. Once you understand what you would do with your life, if you did not have financial obstacles, you will get more than a clear picture of what makes you happy.