Some say that in war and love anything goes. Personally, I don’t agree with that idea. There is a code of conduct that applies to all situations in life. In war matters, conventions have been made to establish rights and certain weapons or actions that are not allowed. For matters of the heart, our civilization has set certain standards, but has not come to define exactly what is allowed or accepted in all cases. Undoubtedly, the level of commitment in the relationship means that certain actions are allowed, to a greater or lesser extent.
Here are some compiled phrases and other ideas of my own that can help you define whether someone is breaking this ethical code by breaking your heart.
1. No games with me, as I guarantee you that I can play better
This warning certainly applies to that youthful love, in which there is still no serious commitment. It has that “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth” look. If you betray me, I return it in kind. To play with someone’s feelings is to break this ethical code of love. If someone plays with you or doesn’t take you seriously, they don’t have sincere feelings for you. It is an ephemeral passion that will surely break your heart. Do not take the vengeful attitude of betraying him to pay back. Not worth it. Find someone who takes you seriously, who values and appreciates you the way you are.
2. Don’t make it a priority to treat you as an option
This sentence is related to the previous point. It is difficult to maintain a balance in the relationship. Sometimes, there is one that “always” gives way and another that “always” wins. The person who “always wins” is not the person he loves the most. If your partner really loves you, he will try in every way to make you happy; it will leave aside the selfishness and self-centeredness that we all naturally have, to give you the best of yourself. When you realize that it has become his priority, and that he puts your well-being above your own, you will know that you have found someone to whom you can open your heart completely.
3. Just as there is “past, present and future” in life, there is “forgive, forget and continue” in feelings
Forgiving is essential for a loving relationship to endure. This is because we are imperfect and, sooner or later, we end up making mistakes, offending and being offended. Beyond forgiveness is forgetting, which must be achieved in order not to continue to touch the wounds and scars of the past. If, after forgiving a mistake, there is no forgetting, it is like saying: “I forgive you as far as I see fit” or “I forgive you until I need to justify any mistake I make”. If you forgive, forget it. It is the healthiest thing to do. You remove a weight from your shoulders and allow yourself to continue your idyllic relationship.
4. Don’t choose the most beautiful person in the world. Choose the one that makes your world a better place
Physical beauty is what attracts us at first, but it gets lost quickly and easily. Have you noticed that you don’t see your true friends as beautiful or ugly? A priori, a person’s name is a face, a body. But once that name becomes a friend, father, brother, partner, the beauty that matters is the interior. It is so with a physically beautiful person, he can become hateful, disgusting and ugly; and another with less physical qualities can become the center of our universe. When youth is left behind, our body and that of our partner deteriorate, but the beauty of the personality remains forever. I have never heard anyone say that their mother or grandmother was “ugly”, despite their age and imperfections.
5. Do not do with love what a child does with a balloon: by playing with it, it loses it; and for losing it, she cries
I warned you above about those who play with your heart. Now, I leave my warning if you are tempted to do the same to someone else. If someone opens their hearts to you, keep that key with all due respect and care. Greatly value this opportunity to get closer to what is so intimate, delicate and vulnerable to another person, the heart. Do the same without fear, loving is for the brave. If you play with the feelings of others, you are not ready to love, your partner will notice it and leave you. And then, in solitude, you will find it will be difficult to correct your mistake.