These are usually two major decisions in a man’s life: to commit and break the commitment. Men often fear the commitment of marriage for a variety of reasons, including fear of having to break up someday. Men tend to be more stable in their long-term relationships and a break up can be a big problem for most. Although there are men who leave home without any problem of conscience, with many there is an internal battle.
What makes a man want to abandon his family?
These reasons can be many. From dissatisfaction with the routine, desire for freedom, feeling of not having value for the family, to an illusion, sexual dissatisfaction with the wife or passion for another woman. Whatever the reason, they shouldn’t exist. It seems utopian and distant from reality, but it is a fact. After all, a family is not disposable, people are not disposable. So there are some things that men who abandon their families must hear.
- Your reasons usually involve fraud and lying
To validate your reasons for leaving your family, you create unreal situations or blame your wife and children for everything bad in your life, which, of course, is not true. It is known that there are men who are deeply hurt by their family, but in most cases it is not so. The most common is that the man simply gets involved with another woman, or wants to have more freedom and less responsibilities and needs social support to feel justified. So lying is the means to that end.
- You will not have the desired social endorsement
Society is not open to accepting your behavior and you will be condemned as the heartless man who left the family. You will be considered immature and irresponsible. Couples are expected to fulfill what was promised at the altar, regardless of what happens. If your wife has gained weight, aged, talks a lot, is a spender, does not like sex, etc., etc., none of this is enough reason to leave her. After all, you have aged too, you also have your quirks and ailments. If you made the wrong choice once, don’t make another one now by giving up on your family.
- You are deeply hurting your family
Perhaps the society that does not approve of it, has itself made you feel that the man is expendable in the home, that the mother can do well alone raising her children, or that the men are clumsy or worse – aggressive, violent. It can make you feel that even if you fulfill your paternity obligations, you are not respected. In addition, ending weddings today has become commonplace. None of this is true. The father, the husband is of paramount importance in the home. When you leave your family you will be exposing your wife to a mental disorder called Abandoned Wife Syndrome- where there is a deep suffering of the woman for the change of the husband’s attitudes and for being accused of being responsible for such changes. She begins to cultivate the continual and tormenting doubt whether he will return and ask for forgiveness and lives in the expectation that this will happen.
Studies have also proven the effects of paternal absence at home on children:
- Children without a parent are more likely to be victims of child abuse.
- The father’s presence is one of the most important factors for the child to develop empathy.
- Boys raised without a father are more likely to have problems with the authorities.
- The lack of a father in the home contributes to the premature initiation of sexual activity.
- Youth suicide has a higher rate in a home without a father.
Think about whether it is worth sacrificing your family for a personal and selfish desire.
- You may be creating an expectation that will not come true
It is very common for a man to later regret leaving his family. Often what he seeks is an emotion that he thinks he no longer has in his marriage or with his own. Maybe you will find that emotion, maybe you will find someone who will make you feel that emotion forever, but what usually happens, just like it happened in your marriage, is that that passion from the beginning will disappear, again the responsibilities call and the harsh reality comes back, bringing tiredness from work, household chores, etc. And, soon you will have a new partner with behavior similar to the previous one. So, what will you do? Will you abandon that too?