Daniel spent the morning online! Why so much interest in chatting? Who is he exchanging messages with? He’s certainly cheating on me! Who is this person who comments so much in your photos? Undoubtedly, on some occasions we ask ourselves about certain behaviors that our partners have when interacting on social networks, since curiosity or fear of betrayal invades our minds with negative thoughts, making us doubt their love.
Unfortunately, some people are obsessed with trying to find some kind of evidence about an alleged betrayal, which may be the product of their imagination. Their minds have no rest, day and night increases this need, anguish and anxiety that drives them to stalk their partner or ex, in reality they become authentic Sherlock Holmes!
To understand the term “Stalkear” , it is defined as: harassing, following, spying on or stalking a person, reviewing the content you post on social networks , whether on Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Tiktok among others. This concept is not only focused on chasing a partner or an ex, but also following that way, friends, family etc.
Who seeks finds!
I remember the phrase that my mother used to say “Whoever searches, finds”, and so it is, when you stalk a person, you can know many things about him or her, since the world of social networks is so subjective that we can find us even with a complete itinerary; who are your friends, followers, family, where you work, what hobbies you have, among other things.
It is important to remember that what is published is not always completely true, since many people tend to hide some things and not be 100% reliable.
But, what are the reasons for spying on a partner or an ex? There can be many, such as: lack of confidence, insecurity, feeling that the other does not tell the truth, infidelity, changes in attitude and behavior. Despite the doubts that can invade your thoughts and heart, you must recognize that your emotional well-being is at great risk.
Be careful, don’t do this!
The need to know everything, to control everything and to be sure, can trigger conflicts and misunderstandings between the couple, since trust, love, respect and commitment are at risk . Reviewing the photographs of the past or the present, the comments of friendships or likes , generate a pattern of questions and doubts that test the relationship, causing the relationship little by little to be destroyed.
What are the risks?
Experts confirm that stalking the partner is part of the phenomenon of abusive relationships , since, in doing so, it will undermine the relationship, in addition to the emotional damage it causes such as, for example:
1 Misrepresenting reality
Many of the conflicts in the relationship are caused by misinterpretation of situations. If you are unsure whether your partner is deceiving you, it is normal for you to try to stalk him to find evidence; however, not everything you upload on social media is true; therefore, it runs the risk of forming false ideas about what is actually happening.
The moment will come when you will question everything about your partner and may even make up stories that, in the long run, from thinking about them so much, become true in your mind. You will question the reason for the message, with whom he speaks, until you will feel that he does not give it due attention.
Undoubtedly, the best option for not breaking the relationship will be communication; if there are doubts as to whether the other is deceiving you or not, better express it as you feel, so you can observe your reactions and analyze them. Tell him your feelings and the things that bother you, and ask for explanations and arguments so that you can calm down.
2 Becomes an addiction
During the morning, afternoon and night your mind will not stop building unreal stories, for you there will be nothing more important than spying on your partner , which will become your priority and even your whole world. Therefore, you will leave aside the really important things, those that are in your present, such as living with your family, friends or even your personal care; you will abandon your self-love just to focus on what your partner does or does not do.
This addiction can make you spend the night in front of the computer, thinking of discovering something that will stop you doubting. It is not out of the question to mention that there are people capable of creating fake profiles with another identity just to ask and question their partner; you will definitely lack peace and your physical and emotional health will be completely affected.
Anxiety is a feeling of fear, fear and restlessness, which can generate physical symptoms that will put your health at risk. You will feel overwhelmed and stressed in case your partner does not respond to your messages when you are online and still dares to send something to Instagram.
Your anxiety can become depression , and if you don’t control it, it can even lead to suicidal thoughts; because your mind is constantly attracting negative and destructive thoughts to you, self-esteem, security and self-confidence.
4 Compulsive jealousies
You will not let your partner have his personal space, as there will be frequent conflicts when you see him relate to his friends, co-workers, family and other people. You may even think that your partner belongs to you. For obvious reasons, your relationship will fall apart, because there will not be a minimum of trust. The risk is evident, since it will lower your self-esteem and self-confidence, weakening your inner peace.
Stalkear is not healthy for you or your relationship ; investing a lot of time in spying on a person will only make you lose the things that are worthwhile; you will cease to value the present by completely abandoning your life, your dreams and expectations. Focus on yourself! Do not create wrong stories and face your fears and insecurities with courage, without spying on your partner, but always maintaining an open, fluid and sincere conversation.