What brings happiness and makes life better does not necessarily have to be grandiose and useful.
“Go for a walk,” it said. The earnest instruction hung prominently above writer Katherine May’s desk. In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, the author of the bestselling novel “Winter Won’t Last Forever” was going through a tough time. She was bored, anxious, and emotionally burned out. Her usual ritual of walking had disappeared, as had other activities she enjoyed, like collecting pebbles on the beach and swimming in the sea. “Nothing else made me interested in the world. I felt like my head was both full and empty,” Katherine May told The New York Times.
In her new book, Enchantment, she shares how simple actions like writing that phrase on a sticky note helped her discover little things that filled her with wonder and awe. And made her feel alive again. Here’s what May recommends you do to feel the same.
1. Notice the world around you
May writes: “We need to find the humility to open ourselves up to new experiences every day and allow ourselves to learn.” And she herself admits that this is not easy.
Forget the thoughts that this is stupid and pointless, that you are too busy and this is a waste of time. Allow yourself to seek contact with something sacramental and communicate with something greater than your personality.
Experiencing wonder is like using a muscle. The more you practice this mindset , the easier it will be to use it over time.
First, you need to give in to the charm of everyday moments. May, for example, is truly happy when she sees the reflections of light playing on her morning coffee cup. But don’t create such moments artificially. Look for things that delight you, and believe that they will appear at the most unexpected moment. It can be any little thing, even a ladybug flying in through an open window.
We tell ourselves that impressive events must be grandiose. In reality, you can just breathe out and live a life that is not grandiose at all.
2. Find a calming activity
If you have trouble imagining things that might enchant you, think about what calms you . Maybe it’s going for a walk. Or going to a museum. Or watching the clouds move.
Whatever it is, find a way to make time for it every day. May herself goes outside every morning and literally smells the air, paying attention to the color of the sky and the feeling of the breeze on her skin.
Some people may find peace by visiting a temple, while others may find peace by looking at the moon and stars. Any simple and easy activity that makes you happier will do.
3. Make up your own rules
When May first learned to meditate , she tried to do it twice a day for 20 minutes, but never before or after sleep and never after meals. Then she had kids, and finding a good time to meditate became more difficult. The problem wasn’t that she wasn’t trying hard enough. The rules weren’t made for her. They were made by someone who had never been in her shoes.
Now she meditates differently. Sometimes it’s five minutes in the middle of the night, sometimes it’s during a walk in the woods. According to May, meditation for her has never been a way to empty her mind , but rather an opportunity to slowly sort through all the thoughts swarming in her head.
If you want to spend more time contemplating your inner world and personal reflection, don’t worry about doing it “right”, come up with your own way.
4. Do nice things just because
We tend to think that seeking pleasure for its own sake is somehow naive. Or, in other words, we tend to attach value to things that are considered practical and effective. But you don’t need a reason to do something that brings you joy.
For example, one of Katherine May’s hobbies is swimming in cold water. She doesn’t do it to burn calories. She just enjoys being in an incredible space of water. She enjoys how sensual it is and how many “happy hormones” her body receives. The pure pleasure of the process itself surpasses any practical aspirations.