Relationships are naturally complicated for several reasons. However, there are ways to know what kind of relationship we are in. For that, we have to dissociate our real feelings from the models presented by the media – of just pleasure and immediacy, as being the real ones.
Every relationship to become long-term naturally goes through courtship, which is where we want to be together all the time, and that feeling is justified: it is necessary to know each other. It is not a time for deep relationships like sexual, although it seems like an archaic concept. It is time to go out together, do activities together, discover the affinities and talk, really talk “to try to get to know each other” as in the music Eduardo and Mônica.
Only after dating does the most serious phase of the relationship come, such as engagement and marriage, where the relationship has already matured and deepened in relation to a greater commitment, a commitment that does not exist in dating. At this point, it is important for the woman to know that the one she is committing to is really the man of her life.
Dating and having a relationship with the man in your life are two very different things and here are 3 crucial differences that you should note.
- Priority / non-priority
A mature relationship is not about self-satisfaction. Marriage must make each individual part of the whole – the couple. Although individuality is not lost, the couple element is the priority. There will be no individual plans with the man of your life. The word I will hardly be used, but us. You will do it of your own free will, which you would not do for anyone else.
In dating, at least in its initial phase, there is no such demand, as it is a time to meet and choose whether to stay or not.
- Has no room for others / has room for change
When you have a relationship with the man in your life, you will not feel insecure or jealous. There is no room for jealousy, because it is true. Both are an important part of each other’s lives and that is clear. There are no games, secrets, inappropriate conversations with other people, flirting or any attempt to sneak. One will do everything for the happiness of the other.
In dating, it may or may not be so. It can happen that one is dissatisfied in the relationship and starts looking sideways. While this is not really wrong in dating, it is good tone to end a relationship before you start looking sideways. It is exhausting to be in a relationship where it feels like we are continually on a tightrope. If your partner does not give you security, even after a long time of dating, he is not the man of your life, so do not move on.
- It will be unique / other possibilities
The man in your life will deserve all your love, respect and dedication. After all, he values you, he respects you and values your family, your achievements, your goals, dreams and everything else that is important to you. He does not try to sabotage his goals to have more time with him, or to stay at home longer, or until he is no longer beautiful or healthy. His goal is to make you happy and he wants you to be fulfilled, to feel good, to have self-esteem, self-confidence and to pursue your dreams. He does what he promises and his actions match his words. He is unique, the perfect companion and you feel great when you are with him.
Dating is not yet time for such dedication. It is time to observe how he treats what is important to you, how you feel when you are with him. To observe how he treats his own family, the people who serve him (such as waiters, gas station attendants) and how he treats people he considers to be in an inferior financial condition. This will tell you a lot about how he will treat you, your family in the future and what your deepest values are. A cruel, superficial or disrespectful man should never be the man of his life. Open up to new possibilities.