More and more people are leaving Italy. Maintaining ties with them is, for those who remain here, very convenient. It doesn’t matter if our friend is the Chief Genius Officer at NASA or cleans the toilets of a fast-food restaurant in South Wales, we still have to hold on to him. A friend abroad is a bargain and this post tells you why.
20 REASONS TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS WHO EMIGRATE ABROAD CLOSE
#1. Because friendship with an expatriate is much stronger. It is in fact very difficult to argue, unless you spend hours and hours on Skype.
#2. Because, if you want to travel to his area, he will host you by offering you a free bed (unless things have gone very badly for him and he lives under a bridge).
#3. Because he can’t steal your girlfriend.
#4. Because you can swindle beer and cigarettes out of him. It will be months before he comes back to collect the debt. And he usually forgets about it.
#5. Because after 25 it becomes very difficult to make new friends. So it’s better to keep the ones you already have.
#6. Because when you don’t feel like seeing him, there’s no need to make up excuses, just don’t connect to Skype.
#7. Because if you’ve managed to get fed up with him even though he lives in Australia, you can always cut off contact by blaming the distance.
#8. Because he is used to eating so badly that, when you invite him to dinner, he pays you a lot of compliments even if you served him plain pasta.
#9. Because it saves you a lot of effort. When you go to visit him, he’ll have at least one cute friend to introduce you to, without you having to hit on the first stranger you see at the pub.
#10. Because he always has something interesting to tell. Or at least something different than usual.
#11. Why you shouldn’t give him a birthday present.
#12. Because when he loses his job, gets dumped by his girlfriend or has a child to take care of, he won’t come knocking on your door asking for help.
#13. Because he gets engaged to a foreigner who doesn’t understand Italian and, when they return to Italy and you all go to dinner together, you can tell him that his girlfriend gets on your nerves without fear that she’ll understand.
#14. Because that’s one less competitor in the fight for pussy.
#15. Because, now that Berlusconi is no longer in government, he can no longer be a pain in the ass by complaining that everyone abroad is making fun of him.
#16. Because when he says he misses you it makes you feel important.
#17. Because, if he were to return to Italy permanently, you might realize that you don’t like him all that much.
#18. Because when he gets a raise he can’t invite you over just to tell you how good he is at his job.
#19. Because, if he’s a true friend, when he comes back he’ll at least offer you a beer.
#20. Because you always enjoy seeing him again.