Not everyone has the ability to be gentle with others. Some people have a habit of being tough and have a hard time being kind to others. (Yes, gentleness and kindness go hand in hand)
Moreover, some people think that meekness is a weakness. They are afraid to be gentle, thinking they might take advantage.
However, gentleness plays an important role in relationships. If a couple treated each other harshly and callously, they wouldn’t last.
If you are in the process of learning to be gentle in a relationship, you can learn in these simple ways:
1. Smile often.
A genuine smile can make anyone feel comfortable around you. Therefore, if you want to lighten the mood in your relationship, smile often. It can make your partner feel happy to have them with you.
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2. Do not impose your will.
You can make suggestions but never force what you want on your partner or spouse. Everyone has free will, and you must respect it.
3. Listen willingly.
When your partner pours out feelings, don’t kill them. Instead, show her that you can’t wait to listen, especially if it’s about your relationship.
ALSO READ: 10 Tips to Be a Better Listener in Your Relationship
4. Be polite.
Being polite is another characteristic of gentleness. Pay attention to your manners and words to avoid being rude. It will make your partner feel that you honor them.
5. Avoid being impatient.
Impatience can cause anger. To avoid this, understand your partner or spouse better. You can also divert your attention to something else. For example, if he was late for your appointment, stop checking the time. Instead, you can window shop or read the news online.
6. Help or help when you can.
Another way to be gentle is to offer help or help. Small actions, like passing food on the table or volunteering to wash the dishes, can have a big impact on your relationship.
7. Serve happily.
One of the nicest things you can do for them is serving your partner. You can cook her favorite dish or just make coffee. Whatever you do, if you do it cheerfully, it will surely be heartwarming.
8. Choose your words carefully.
A gentle person is sensitive to the feelings of others. So whenever you talk to your partner or spouse, be careful not to use aggressive words. This is most applicable whenever you are arguing over something.
READ ALSO: 10 Ways To Stop Arguing In A Relationship
9. Write constructive criticism.
Of course, there are times when you get impatient with your partner’s shortcomings. To avoid blurting out insensitive remarks, choose to turn your comments into constructive criticism. Avoid pointing fingers and pointing out mistakes. Just make statements that can help him improve.
10. Use the sandwich principle.
Constructive criticism aside, the sandwich principle can be effective in pointing out your partner’s failures without being offensive. The sandwich principle consists of stating the negative comment between two positive comments.
11. Don’t raise your voice.
No matter how angry you are, control the tone, pitch and volume of your voice. Keep a conversational voice when talking to your partner. In short, don’t yell at your partner.
12. Shut up or walk away.
If you can’t help but raise your voice or say hurtful words, choose to back away. You can choose to remain silent or walk away from the stage. Once you’ve calmed down, talk quietly with your partner to resolve the issue.
13. Say “thank you” often.
Be more grateful to your partner or spouse. Whenever he does something for you, thank him generously. Make “thank you” a common expression in your relationship, along with “I love you”.
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14. Always say “please” when asking for a favor.
Whenever you need your partner’s help, don’t forget the magic word: “please”. Never direct your partner or spouse. Instead, let him do what you ask him on purpose. Using “please” recognizes your partner’s freedom to help or not – and that you appreciate them every time they do.
15. Be prepared to say “sorry”.
If you know you did something that hurt your partner or spouse, please humbly apologize. It shows that you care about how he feels and don’t like to hurt him.
On the contrary, if it is you who are hurt or offended, forgive without hesitation. Why stay angry and hate it if you want to keep the relationship? Of course, that doesn’t mean you tolerate a bad deed. It only shows that your love for the person is greater than any mistake.
17. Resist too much familiarity.
Avoid being too familiar with your partner or spouse. Excessive familiarity makes you less aware of your behavior around him. Because of this, sometimes you forget to treat your partner gently.
18. Be thoughtful.
Another way to show softness is to be thoughtful. Remember important events in your relationship, like your birthday or your partner’s birthday. Other examples include making lunch for your partner and reminding him to take vitamins.
READ ALSO: 10 Ways To Be More Thoughtful With Your Girlfriend
19. Ask for suggestions or opinions.
Gentle people don’t dominate others, even though they can. No matter how passive your partner or spouse is, always take the time to include them in the decision-making process. Ask him for his ideas before deciding anything. Even in simple conversations, you should hear your partner’s thoughts.
20. Never display angry force.
No matter how angry you are, never lose control. It is better to run away from the situation than to hit the wall, break glasses or throw plates. You can’t hurt your partner physically, but violent acts like these can leave psychological trauma.
Be gentle on yourself
Practicing gentleness won’t just benefit your relationship. In fact, you will earn more. Having a gentle or kind mind will save you from unnecessary guilt caused by hurting others.
Additionally, remember to be gentle with yourself despite your past failures. In this difficult world, you need someone who will always be kind to you, especially when you are at your worst. If you couldn’t find someone in someone you know, at least you have it yourself.