Is your partner accusing you of being selfish? How would you know if this is really true?
Admit it, it’s always easier to see your partner’s flaws than yours. That’s why, if you want to know how you are as a boyfriend or girlfriend, you had better assess yourself objectively.
For a relationship to last, a couple must respect and consider each other. This means that both partners should love unconditionally and altruistically. If either of them is indifferent to their partner, then the relationship will eventually fall apart.
So if your boyfriend or girlfriend tells you that you are selfish, don’t ignore it. Find out if this is true. If so, decide to change for the better, if you want your relationship to work.
Here are some signs that you are selfish in a relationship:
1. You always demand time.
If you can’t figure out that your partner has a world outside of your relationship, it’s probably happening. You get angry whenever he doesn’t answer or call back immediately. Or you always ask him to be with you all the time, not caring that he probably has something else to do.
2. You are very possessive.
It’s more than being jealous. You just don’t like him talking or saying “hi” to someone else of the opposite sex. You forbid him to go out with friends because you are always suspicious.
READ ALSO: 8 tips to stop being possessive in a relationship
3. You have to be in control all the time.
You always have the last word in your relationship. Your partner cannot do anything without your permission. On the other hand, you don’t let him tell you what to do.
4. You care more about what others say than how you feel about your partner.
For you, your reputation is more important than the happiness of your partner. For example, you may choose to keep your relationship a secret because your boyfriend or girlfriend is not popular or attractive enough.
5. You want the person to change for you.
In order for your partner to be your ideal guy or girl, you demand that he / she change. You tell your partner that if you want your relationship to continue, he has to change what you don’t like about him.
6. You are not willing to change anything for the person.
On the other hand, you hate when your partner points out your flaws. You insist that if he loves you, then he must accept you for who you are.
7. You never ask for or listen to your partner’s opinions.
You are probably not aware of it, but you are actually not interested in your partner’s ideas. It is important to you that he listens to you. On the other hand, you don’t care about his opinions.
8. You use chants to get what you want.
Knowing that your partner loves you so much, you always threaten to leave whenever he doesn’t want to do it your way.
9. You never apologize, even if it’s your fault.
It is difficult for you to say “sorry” to your boyfriend / girlfriend. If he is always the one who initiates reconciliation after each fight, then your pride is greater than your love.
10. You think you are always right.
Within the framework of no. 8, you never see yourself at fault in the quarrels of your lovers. For you, it is always your partner who has the problem, which is why you are fighting.
11. You cannot accept the faults of your partner.
Unlike no. 6, it is difficult for you to accept your partner’s faults. That’s why you want him / her to change “for the better”. Deep down, you believe that he / she is not good enough for you because of these imperfections.
ALSO READ: How To Accept Someone For Who They Are In A Relationship
12. You can easily take the person for granted.
Since you think your partner isn’t good enough, it’s easy for you to take them for granted. You don’t care if he gets hurt because of you. Or you show no appreciation for his efforts. For you, it doesn’t matter if you lose it. You can always find someone better.
13. You focus on growing your career but never supporting your partner’s.
For you, it is important that he supports you to achieve your ambitions. However, you can’t even celebrate its small successes. You might have even discouraged him from dreaming big because you didn’t believe he could.
14. You demand to be the first priority at all times.
You hate every time your partner isn’t available for you because they have something important to do. To you, nothing should be more important than you.
15. You make no effort to make your partner happy.
You are too busy with things “more important” than making your partner feel special. Very ironic, right? For you, this is no longer necessary since you are already in a relationship.
ALSO READ: 7 Things Couples Should Do To Stay Happy
16. You are unwilling to make sacrifices.
In addition to no. 14, you will never sacrifice yourself for your partner. For example, he / she might be sick with no one else to check it out. However, you would never consider taking a day off to take care of him. For you, maintaining a good balance sheet is more important.
17. Your needs always come first.
In all, you always put your own needs before those of your partner. When difficulties arise, you must first insure yourself. Whether it’s physical, emotional or financial needs, you should always take care of your own first.
18. You always tell your partner that you have nothing to lose if you separate.
In emotional blackmail, you make it clear to your partner that their presence doesn’t really matter. You want him / her to feel that whether he / she stays in your life or not, you won’t be affected at all. In short, you are not afraid of losing your partner.
What to do
If you have realized that you have been selfish all this time, then DECIDE. Ask yourself if you really love your boyfriend / girlfriend. If you are sure you want to continue your relationship, then there is only one thing you can do. You must be altruistic to your part.