17 ways to stop controlling in a relationship

No one likes to be around a control freak. A person who likes to be in control all the time can be toxic and manipulative. People around such a man would sometimes feel suffocated, so they prefer distance.

If you tend to be in control of your relationship, now is the time to consider a change. If you continue this way, your partner or spouse may get tired and decide to quit.

Another reason you need to consider change is that being a control freak might have a serious underlying issue. Admitting this problem and desiring change can help you on a larger scale.

Now, let’s focus on saving your relationship. Check out these helpful ways that can keep you from controlling your relationship.

1. Ask yourself what makes you a control freak.
The first step in correcting your problematic behavior is to discover the root of it. What made you this way? A traumatic experience? Anxiety? Depression? Trust issue? Once you find out, you’ll know where to start.

2. Realize that this can cause your partner to rebel against you.
Please understand that your controlling behavior can also lead to negative behavior in your partner. It can make him rebellious against you. This means that he might be tempted to do exactly what you don’t like out of anger.

3. Remember he is not your slave.
Your partner or spouse is not your slave or a person inferior to you. He is your equal, which means you cannot force him to do something against his will. You don’t own the person, remember that.

4. Learn to trust your partner’s decisions.
One of the problems with controlling people is that they don’t trust the abilities of others. Avoid thinking that your partner or spouse is incapable of making good decisions. If you don’t believe in the person, why did you choose to be with him / her in the first place?

5. Put yourself in his shoes.
Try to imagine being your partner. How do you think it will feel if you are stuck with a dictator? How long could you stay with someone who robs you of the freedom to be yourself and forces you to behave according to their standards?


6. Accept that everything is not going the way you want it to be.
No matter how much you want to be in control, you never will. Yes, you might be able to manipulate some things to go your way, but it won’t always work. There are circumstances beyond your control, and they include your partner’s emotions and way of thinking.

7. Respect the differences.
Don’t expect your partner or spouse to be like you in every way. You come from different backgrounds and you have different personalities. If you want a peaceful relationship, learn to respect each other’s differences.

8. Provide privacy and space.
Transparency is important in a relationship. However, it’s a different thing when you demand reports on everything your beau is doing 24/7. You have no problem knowing what to eat for lunch, what to wear to go out, or who to run into.

9. Stop using threats to get what you want.
It is not healthy to use threats only to make your partner give in to your demands. You can force her to do whatever you want, but it could strain your relationship. Soon, your partner or spouse might tire of doing things they are not happy to do.

10. Be more patient and understanding.
Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean everyone is. A task may be simple for you, but difficult for your partner. If this is the case, avoid being mean to the person. Don’t force him / her to perfect something that he / she has a hard time doing.

11. Avoid being paranoid.
Some people are overly possessive because they are paranoid or anxious. If you think everything should be in your control, please relax. Remember that it is not your responsibility to bear the weights of the world. You can’t save everyone from bad decisions or stop all bad things from happening.

12. Stop being a perfectionist.
No one is perfect, so stop pressuring your partner to meet all of your high demands. A healthy relationship has room for individual growth. Meaning, don’t expect your partner or spouse to ever disappoint you. Instead, whenever it happens, reassure him of your unconditional love.

13. Meet halfway with your partner.
Instead of wanting everything in your relationship to go the way you want it to, learn to compromise. You and your partner need to have a say in the relationship. You cannot make decisions without the contribution of your beau. This means adjustments on both sides.

14. Fight insecurities.
Being a control freak is a sign of insecurity. You try to hide your weaknesses by imposing your dominance. Subconsciously, you want to appear harsh and scary to stop anyone from trying to abuse or harm you.


15. Do not resort to manipulation.
Manipulation involves coaching someone, using bribes, or creating situations to get exactly what you want. The next level of control is manipulation. This is seriously toxic behavior, and it would be unhealthy and dangerous for anyone to stay near you.

16. Support emotional and mental health.
As mentioned above, being a control freak can be a sign of an underlying mental or emotional issue. It could be depression, stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, or a problem with confidence. Help yourself by taking care of your psychological health. Some of these include getting enough sleep, exercising, and relaxing regularly.

17. Get help.
If you know that you are in emotional or mental pain and it escapes you, seek help. There is no need to be ashamed to see a psychiatrist or to attend counseling sessions. Also, be sure to discuss it with your trusted partner, family, and friends.

It’s time to loosen the grip

It’s okay not to be in control all the time. It doesn’t matter if things don’t go as planned. It’s good to have a partner who is different from your ideal person.

Once you’ve learned to let things flow naturally, you can enjoy life in a more relaxed and peaceful way. Prepare for surprises, be truly loved, and learn to love unconditionally.

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