Choosing a partner to spend the rest of your life with is probably one of the most difficult decisions any of us will ever make. The criteria are subjective in relation to each person, but it is necessary to think carefully. After all, this choice can affect your health, your way of reacting to stress and even your worldview.
With this in mind, Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., professor of psychology at Monmouth University in the United States, has developed a list of questions that can help anyone who is in doubt of what they are looking for. He was inspired by the concept of the Keltner List, which decides, through objective and subjective concepts, which baseball players in the United States deserve to be in the sport’s Hall of Fame.
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According to the psychologist, the idea is to use instincts to answer questions formulated from scientific research on behavior and relationships.
Check out the questions:
1) How does your partner make you a better person and how do you do the same for him ?
2) Do you and your partner feel comfortable sharing feelings, counting on each other, staying close and stop worrying about the possibility of an end ?
3) Do you and your partner accept each other for who they are, without trying to change each other ?
4) Do you communicate respectfully or disrespectfully when you argue?
5) Do you share decisions, power and influence in the relationship?
6) Is your partner your best friend ? Are you his?
7) Do you think more about “us” than about “me” and “you”?
8) Do you and your partner share bank and social media passwords with each other?
9) Do you see each other as good people ?
10) Do your friends and your partner’s friends believe that you have a good relationship and that it will last?
11) Is your relationship free from bad signals like betrayal, jealousy and controlling behavior?
12) Do you and your partner share the same political, religious, matrimonial and parental values ?
13) Are you willing to sacrifice your own desires , needs and goals for each other without being a hindrance?
14) Are you and your partner malleable and emotionally stable ?
15) Are you sexually compatible ?
The idea is to answer the questions with yes or no. “Remember that the test is not about grades and performance, but a guide to what really matters in relationships. Having said that, the best answer to all questions is a quick and sure ‘yes’, writes the scientist in The Conversation.