The couple’s relationship grows when beyond love there is mutual respect. This is why it’s important to understand what are the things you should never accept in the relationship if you really love yourself.
There are compromises that decline the relationship to the point of living frustrated and unhappy; they are alarm bells of something wrong inside it.
A healthy relationship needs various components such as trust , respect , communication in order for it to really work. The lack of all this leads to arguments and quarrels. Regrets arise primarily due to incorrect and disrespectful actions.
Many people faced with the evidence do not welcome these signals as a reason to walk away. The lack of love towards oneself, the need to be loved and protected by the other makes these gestures look normal.
It’s not about demanding perfection or being treated like a queen. It’s about dotting the i’s right from the start, on what we are willing to tolerate and what we are not to show that, above all else, everyone has a value.
We are in the 21st century, I expect all of this to be normal, but every day the news is full of news of women victims of violence. Every day we hear stories of women who are abused by their husbands, used as servants or objects because they are their property.
A man and a woman are human beings, they must be respected because they are people, no one must depend on the other nor be manipulated in their mental faculties. I am sorry to witness a culture that does not protect and in which there is no idea of the couple living in total freedom.
The choice to write this article was born from the stories I hear every day in which women feel trapped in the relationship and end up justifying their partner’s actions. They blame themselves, constantly apologize for things they didn’t do until they think they deserve a relationship like this.
I would like my words to awaken in all the people who read this article the ability to discern what is good from what is bad, from what is the inkling of an unstable, harmful relationship and which can only lead them to forget about themselves.
Content index
- Tell lies
- It controls you
- He beats you
- He cheats on you
- He insults and humiliates you
- He doesn’t want you to take time for yourself
- He never compliments you
- It doesn’t help you in times of need
- He has a masculine outlook
- He never apologizes to you
- How to find the courage to leave your partner?
Tell lies
Lies destroy a couple relationship right away, they have a dual function: on the one hand they manipulate and on the other they aim at the trust that exists between two people .
Don’t believe those who say that there are lies for a good purpose that seem harmless.
Lies are omitted truths therefore there are no distinctions or differences.
The constant telling of lies leads to having at some point a difficulty in understanding who the partner really is, what game he is playing and to question any word.
It controls you
If your partner decides what you have to do, how you have to dress or which friends to hang out with, you are simply putting your life in one person’s hands. Keeping such a relationship alive will only destroy your self-esteem and deprive you of the freedom to express who you really are, as well as take away the air you breathe.
He beats you
Women don’t even touch each other with a flower.
It is a saying that expresses an absolute truth.
Getting out of a relationship in which there is physical violence is very difficult, it is true that there are professionals and associations that deal specifically with these problems. Women who find themselves in these situations don’t know how to get out of it, they even think they deserve this kind of treatment and that this is love.
Hands are not raised to anyone so if you are experiencing such a situation, contact those who defend women victims of violence. Violent partners do everything to keep them from leaving, they know how to convince with words because they know your weaknesses perfectly.
He cheats on you
Cheating is a big wake-up call that something is wrong with the couple. I understand that you want to give your partner another chance, think it was desperate, and don’t want to have any regrets in the future.
If these betrayals are repeated over time then the problem is bigger than you think so end the relationship and move on.
Personally I also consider the habit of filtering with other women a betrayal, which can only happen through social networks. It is a very bad disrespect that absolutely cannot be justified. When your man is comfortable with you, he doesn’t need to look for anything outside the relationship.
You definitely deserve a man your equal.
He insults and humiliates you
Anger and nervousness are part of daily life, they are emotions that arise especially in the most stressful periods. This doesn’t justify the humiliations you have to suffer as a result of an argument or mistakes made.
If what you feel inside turns into mean, disparaging words towards you, review your relationship and consider how often these episodes occur. Violent and offensive tones are symptoms of disrespect for each other.
A man who respects you will be kind, polite and will be able to share the emotions he feels inside.
He doesn’t want you to take time for yourself
Often in the couple’s relationship guilt is used to prevent the other from giving himself time. Guilt feelings are like moral blackmail, they manipulate and lead to behavior as the partner wishes.
If your partner doesn’t want you to go out with your friends, doesn’t accept that you go out for a walk alone or treat yourself to an afternoon of shopping then it is clear that he wants to decide for your life.
Phrases that will also make you understand that he wants to rule your life are: ” Go out and then I’ll show you what will happen “, ” You won’t find me when you return “. Or he’ll initially he won’t say anything but when you get home, he’ll show up sulking.
In the couple everyone has the right to be free. The relationship is based on trust in each other and respect for the moments that everyone wants to have with themselves.
To be a free couple is to be fulfilled in personal life.
He never compliments you
He always makes you feel wrong, he is perfect and gives you his superior being.
Compliments and recognitions he wants to receive but he never grants them. If you reach important milestones at work or in your school career, he doesn’t show interest, he doesn’t share this moment with you, rather he finds a way to criticize you.
When these episodes happen there’s not much to think about whether to continue being with him or not because he will always try to destroy your identity, undermine your confidence and make you feel diminished compared to him.
It doesn’t help you in times of need
An inattentive partner who doesn’t ask how you are or who isn’t there in times of need is a partner who is not very interested in you, who you are and what you do. You are always ready to help him in any situation, even economic, while when the situation turns upside down he tells you that you have to manage it on your own.
The relationship is building a future together in which there could be ups and downs, so presence is always fundamental.
He has a masculine outlook
If you still feel like you’re talking to a man from the past like the 1800s where the woman has to stay at home to look after the family then you’re absolutely wrong man.
You can consider being a housewife but it must be your choice and not an imposition. If this doesn’t match what you want for your future because you are an ambitious woman who wants to make a career, continue on your way so as not to regret the choice you made afterward.
He never apologizes to you
We all make mistakes, perfection belongs only to God, for this reason it is also right to know how to apologize to the other.
Admitting your mistakes, it is sometimes thought, is synonymous with weakness.
Apologizing is an act of courage in which pride is put aside to learn to grow together day after day. People who know how to apologize to each other know how to build a strong relationship. Not admitting your mistakes means not being open to change by delegating responsibility for your actions to the other.
How to find the courage to leave your partner?
A healthy relationship is a relationship that guarantees and supports the individuality of the other, cultivates personal interests as well as those of the couple. You are certain that the other accepts you as you are, that he is always there for you.
It is a relationship based on love as well as trust.
Sometimes, however, these relationships become real prisons, the same goes for marriages. The couple must guarantee a serene emotional life and put the other in a position to be able to choose freely.
When all this fails, the idea of being able to leave the partner becomes the right choice to feel good and live happily. The point is that you are assailed by guilt , by the fear of seeing those next to you suffer, by that sense of loneliness you feel inside because you know that there will no longer be anyone waiting for you at home or with whom to share a part of your life. A new chapter opens, a chapter that could be right to regain yourself, your serenity and tomorrow meet a different love from what you’ve experienced up to now.
Letting go means realizing that some people are part of your story, but they are not part of your destiny.
Steve Maraboli
I advise you to detach yourself from those thoughts that lead you to hope for a change in your partner or that you will no longer meet anyone who will be able to love you. It is much more serious to continue living in a relationship that makes you suffer than to face the separation .
The more sincere and loyal you are, the more you will be able to manage the detachment in a mature way.
Often the difficulty in accepting the termination of a relationship and in communicating one’s intention is due to the attachment style experienced with one’s mother in early childhood. The attachment style says so much even before you embark on a relationship, it reveals how you will experience the detachment towards your partner.
In this moment of indecision, take the opportunity to connect with yourself. Listen to your desires, your thoughts, stop, reflect and evaluate which choice will bring you serenity. You will experience that feeling of failure, of defeat for making such a decision but it will be the first step towards a definitive resolution.
Imagine the freedom and serenity you will conquer.
You will miss him, it is inevitable.
Hold tight, let all the emotions you feel inside you flow, welcome them. Separating may prove to be the best choice for both of you.
An inner journey can help you and support you in this choice.
And what things do you not accept in the couple’s reaction?
Write it in the comments.
If you feel you want to be accompanied in making the best choice, facing the storm you are experiencing right now in your relationship with serenity, you can book a free meeting at the link you find here .
Meanwhile you can join my free group where you’ll find ideas, advice that will lighten your days.