No one is immune from mistakes, but stepping on the same rake over and over again is hardly a smart move. Below are 10 stereotypical cases in which mistakes can easily be avoided if you approach the situation with a cold calculation.
Reading” thoughts
Most people are confident by default in their superpower to know exactly what someone is thinking and why they are doing certain things. It would be fair to say that insight is a useful quality, but all assumptions about other people are nothing more than guesses. Remember more often that you cannot read minds. Do not be shy about directly asking the interlocutor about his intentions. And do not assume that everyone understands you at a half-word – take the time to make sure that your words are interpreted correctly.
Losing your cool
Surely, at least once in your life, bad thoughts have crept into your head. A loved one does not pick up the phone for 10 minutes, and now you are vividly imagining an accident – what if something terrible happened to him? Tragedies happen, but not every time someone puts their phone on silent mode. When emotions get out of control, logic comes to the rescue.
Love of comparisons
Society pushes us to endless competition in one way or another: most people want to be more beautiful, more successful, and one step ahead of others in everything. The cult of consumption these days is instilled not only by advertising, but also by social networks, which flood us with pictures of a beautiful life 24/7. Do you like to compare yourself with others? Do not deny yourself this pleasure, but be objective and pay more attention to comparisons in your favor.
Hope for past achievements
Fame and status open up new opportunities, but once-earned preferences do not guarantee special treatment for life. It is one thing to be the first person to fly into space, and quite another to be proud of an award from a specialized exhibition that took place 10 years ago. Formal achievements of the past are worth nothing if you do not maintain your competence today. New achievements require effort.
Trust in critics
Negativity hurts people much more than positivity. If a compliment is not always appropriate, it is difficult to keep a complaint that seems fair to yourself. So for every angry remark directed at you, there are always a dozen silent approvals. Remember this before you get sad about criticism. Constructive comments should be seen as an opportunity for growth, and biased ones should be ignored. You should not take the baseless attacks of haters at face value.
Perfectionism
It’s time to admit: striving for an unattainable ideal can only bring zero results. Don’t confuse the desire to improve with overly high demands on yourself. In business, there is a concept of a minimum working prototype: for example, if you have invented a device, your task is to make it work with minimal means to find out how much it will be in demand. And not to spend millions on an ideal and useless device.
Unfounded assumptions
Risks follow us everywhere and will stay with us even if we lock ourselves in a bunker with walls made of feather beds. What if you develop an allergy to feathers? Or claustrophobia. Reasonable fears have a right to exist and provide you with maximum safety, for example, when you decide whether to take a shortcut to your destination through a dark alley or choose a long but illuminated path. Considering worries about events whose probability is close to zero as a real threat is simply stupid: the potential that could be spent on real problems is eaten up by phantom fears.
A tendency to take things personally
If you are no longer a small child, it is time to admit that the world does not revolve around you. And what’s more, it is even good! It is not your fault that it rained, your colleague did not get enough sleep, and the payment did not reach the bank. You need to separate the area of your real responsibility and the problems that are absolutely beyond your control. Otherwise, you will face continuous disappointments, because something bad (along with positive things) happens regularly in the world.
Self-restraint without reason
Often, idealists from the point above like to limit themselves without a reason, but such behavior may be characteristic not only of those who strive for perfection in everything. Everyone often acts in a certain way, only because it is “necessary”. But every time you feel like you owe someone something, try to decide what and to whom exactly. For example, you really need to repay a loan to friends, you do not want to ruin the relationship. But working from 9 to 18, because it is “necessary”, is not necessary if you have enough money from a part-time job on weekends.
Looking for obstacles, not opportunities
It is often useful to anticipate negative scenarios when there are real risks. The next step is to develop a plan B, not to abandon the idea. If you find yourself thinking that you only see the negatives in everything, try to lead projects with a positive partner who will complement your one-sided view, show you the possibilities and potential. Sometimes it is important to look at the world through someone else’s eyes to realize that you have only seen part of it.