Most people tend to believe that they are better than everyone else. But why do close friends, workmates, and even relatives gradually distance themselves? What’s the real reason?
Research has shown that people only truly know about 20-25% of themselves. Sometimes, we don’t even know what our faults or bad habits are. But if we want to know ourselves better and change ourselves, what should we do? Today, we have some great tips for you, using the psychology of self-change to create new, better habits.
Psychology of self-transformation to create new, better habits
Changing yourself is not easy, but it is an important goal if you want to improve yourself from where you are. People want to change themselves for many reasons.
For example, you might want to be a talented person, be accepted, or be loved. However, don’t forget to ask yourself why you’re changing yourself in that area, whether it’s truly beneficial, or whether you’ll lose your identity. Now that you know the answer, let’s explore how to change yourself.
1. Understand yourself.
To truly understand your true self, opening your mind is a crucial first step. Once you’ve opened your mind, don’t be too quick to judge yourself based on your emotions. Take your time and analyze your own behavior logically to understand your personality and behavior. You may discover the root cause of your problems. Then, try asking yourself questions one at a time. Instead of asking “why,” try asking “how.”
2. Think creatively.
If you want to change yourself, the first thing you need is to develop a habit of thinking positively about everything. This is because thoughts are the key doorway to action, and actions that you do frequently become second nature to you.
When the origin of the thought is positive, the actions will be positive as well. For example, think constructively, do not judge others superficially, when encountering problems, do not blame others or find fault, etc.
3. Eliminate weaknesses.
Sometimes we already know our weaknesses or shortcomings, our emotional instability. Perhaps it’s because we feel anxious easily, fear disappointment, are confused by fear of not being loved, or are unable to cope with pressure. Many times, our emotional maturity is lower than it should be, leading us to think and make decisions without reason. Now that we know, let’s rethink this in a new way: how can we eliminate our weaknesses?
4. Take action instead of complaining.
We must always remember that complaining doesn’t solve any problems. Even if we believe that complaining and venting makes us feel better, on the other hand, complaining only causes more problems for those around us.
Don’t believe that your habits or personality can’t be changed. Don’t let your complaining nature control your identity. If you want to stop complaining, it’s very easy to change by taking action. Whenever you feel like complaining, suppress your thoughts and remind yourself to take action immediately.
5. Think friendly and non-judgmental.
Using your own standard to judge the actions of others is a very bad habit. Besides undermining good relationships, our thinking may be so wrong that it cannot be corrected.
Living together and working together requires empathy, consideration of the common good before your own, and increased agreeableness. Society naturally favors people who are friendly, generous, and always like to help others.
6. Open to new experiences.
Sometimes imagination is more important than knowledge. Working together can cause us to dislike and not listen to others’ ideas, leading to a habit of judging others quickly or assuming certain things ourselves.
Try to change your habits and be open to hearing opinions from all sides. Set a goal that by listening to others you might learn something new, be open to new perspectives or experiences. This is called Openness to Experience. If we can adjust our feelings, the discomfort will disappear and our behavior will change from before.
7. Focus on the present and tomorrow.
Beginning to change yourself may encounter some obstacles. Sometimes it may require both effort and time because some habits may have been with us since childhood. Always remember that obstacles are tools to measure our patience and determination. Always remind yourself not to stop halfway.
Do your best to reach your goals. Practice the mindset of change and make it happen. It will soon be beneficial for both you and others.
8. Have public awareness.
In psychology, actions reflect thought patterns, behaviors, and personality, and are passed down from childhood. In addition to fulfilling your individual duties, performing appropriate social duties is also a way to transform yourself and develop good habits.
This is called having public consciousness, or having a public conscience. Doing things for the public good often results in better control over your actions and is also more accepted.
9. Set a symbol to remind you.
Psychology says that suddenly shifting your focus on one thing can change your mood. Sometimes, when faced with a problem, you can revert back to your previous, irritable self, making things worse.
Reminding yourself to bring yourself back to your senses is also a good option. A particularly effective way is to create a mental cue to tell yourself what to do. For example, if you’re upset, go to the bathroom immediately. If you’re angry, go make yourself a cup of coffee. If you’re starting to get angry, pick up your phone.
10. Look for idols or role models.
Finally, if talking to yourself doesn’t work, we recommend looking for an idol or role model you admire to help you make the transition easier. Perhaps it’s a boss you admire, or a coworker you and everyone else admires. Try observing and learning about that person, comparing them, or trying to adopt their traits and adapting them to your own. However, be careful not to imitate too much, as this could lead to the loss of your own identity.
There is a saying that says, “Trying to be loved by everyone may end up with no one loving you at all.”
While it’s a good idea to change and adapt to the demands of others to gain their love and admiration, that change must not neglect one’s identity and reality. Of course, everyone has inherent flaws and traits that need to be learned and improved. However, trying to be something you’re not can also create emotional wounds. Therefore, any change should always be supported by a rationale.