How To Deal With Criticism?.Committing mistakes is part of human nature. For this reason, we all do it. However, we can learn a lot from them and even improve our way of learning. To succeed, though, we must be aware of what we did wrong. It’s not an easy thing; sometimes, in fact, we do not realize the mistakes we make … while others do.
In this, criticism can help us. When a person criticizes us, try to tell us something we did not like. These suggestions for improvement can be true or do not match reality. We may also feel the need to change what has been said to us, whether it is true or not. Read on to find out how we can handle criticisms.
How to respond to the criticisms that concern us?
Critics usually have a negative effect on us. We are used to interpret them as a negative point that we are told to hurt ourselves. The truth, though, is that they can be seen as a hint to improve. Interpret them, therefore, as a means through which others communicate those actions, those behaviors or the works that we did and which they did not like.
Likewise, it is important to adopt strategies to react in the best possible way to a critic , and to learn how to do it right. We will thus learn to exploit this to prevent misunderstanding or any other kind of problem arising in our relationships with others.
It is difficult to change our way of doing when they tell us that we can improve it. Since no one is perfect, it is not uncommon in the face of life to be faced with criticisms. First, we need to understand whether or not the criticism that has been addressed to us is about us.
We will have to understand whether we are interested in improving that aspect or not. In this case, we will have to make sure we understand what others are trying to tell us. To understand this, you can ask questions in order to determine whether the criticism has a real base. Among the possible questions we find:
- What are you referring to?
- Where do you know it?
- When and / or where did it happen?
What can we do to deal with the criticisms that correspond to reality?
How To Deal With Criticism Positively
In this way, we will be able to distinguish between the critiques that correspond to reality and those that do not. We will be able to understand what are constructive and what, instead, destructive. How should we behave when we are faced with constructive criticism, where is it clear what they are saying to us?
The truth is, though we know that they are true, often we are unable to handle them. For this reason, first, we must be able to accept these criticisms without justification. Once this is done, we will have to decide whether or not our intention is to change what has been said to us. Once you understand that you want to change, implementing change is not easy.
To change and improve by following the suggestion of others, we will first have to tell the other person. A simple “you are right, it will not happen again” is more than enough. If we see our interlocutor insist on criticizing, we use the broken disk technique. It consists in repeating the same sentence several times avoiding starting to argue.
“Do what you feel right in your heart, for you will be criticized anyway. You will be damned if you do it, damn if you do not. ”
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
There are occasions when changing it turns out to be particularly complicated. In these cases we will have to explain to the other how difficult for us to change, asking for help to find alternatives. In this way, the other person will empathize with us. However, one has to be careful, because defending can increase the tension between the two sides.
Finally, even if the criticism that is being made corresponds to reality, we must not change. In this case, what we can do is to give a reason to our interlocutor, as well as propose alternatives to improve the situation and thus avoid any conflict .
How do we react when criticisms do not correspond to reality?
There are times when the criticism that is being moved against us does not correspond to reality. If we do not handle the situation in the best way, it will be very easy to start discussions that will not take anywhere . It is therefore important to jointly practice other two assertive techniques, the fog bench technique, and the ambiguous alternative.
Foggy Tech is to take part in the other person’s speech so that he recognizes that he has good reasons to think what he has said but without losing our position . For example, “It’s normal for you to feel that way if you think you do not answer your messages because I do not consider it important to me.
In this way, we paraphrase and let the other person understand that he has understood his point of view without, however, losing ours . In addition to this, we can give a general or ambiguous alternative, as “I will think about it” or “will consider it.” By doing so, we will come to a partial agreement with our interlocutor.
These techniques are tools to keep in mind in our interpersonal relationships, whether they are with friends, family, colleagues, or partners , since knowing how to react calmly and emphatically to criticism will help us considerably reduce the chances of misunderstanding with each other person. Even if criticisms do not interest us or are unrealistic
