Narcissism, is seeking self-legitimacy, as well as self-esteem .It can be defined as excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance.Narcissism and self-esteem somehow seek both to legitimize the self. But then where is the difference? Why is it so easy to confuse them? Simple, while narcissism does it through a beautiful image, self-esteem does it through existence, unconditionally .
Differences between narcissism and self-esteem
Following this reasoning, we could add that narcissism and self-esteem are two components opposing the motivations and the ways in which they manifest themselves . This is what two of the psychologists most concerned with this confusion are saying, Pilar Mallor and Manuel Villegas.
In their research there are clear differences between narcissism and self-esteem, although there are behaviors that, in the absence of some information, can be attributed to both conditions. How do we, then, distinguish between narcissism and self-esteem in a person? We find some differences together.
Narcissists have an exaggerated perception of themselves
The main difference between the narcissistic person and the one who has self-esteem is the self-image. In other words, the first one is given too much importance, it has a really distorted image of itself . The second, on the other hand, points to much more inner satisfaction, less inflated and less arguable.
The narcissists, that is, seek for well-being and security through an exaggerated image, which is actually a distorted self-perception. That is, it shows a real interior void in which an insecure person is hidden.
On the other hand, a person with a healthy self-esteem bases his well-being on satisfactory relationships . It does not give its image more importance than it actually does. Being a self-confident person, he does not need to overdo it or to point out his achievements in front of others simply by enjoying them.
Assertiveness against the need for attention
A person with self-esteem is assertive. You can hear it and choose the right time to talk . In fact, he does it with a knowledge of cause and always value his intervention. In other words, this person is endowed with emotional and social intelligence. He also enjoys the patience that gives him the confidence to be able to express his opinion when his turn comes.
The narcissistic profile, however, given its exaggerated cult of the image, needs attention . Always seek to be in the focus of attention and make sure that others know of your presence. He needs others to worship his image as a cult.
empathy
Linked to the previous point, a detail that distinguishes narcissistic people from those with a healthy self-esteem is the ability to show empathy . The person with a healthy self-esteem develops in the social interaction the patience that we have talked about and which is essential for an active confrontation
A narcissistic person, on the other hand, thinks only of herself and of her image, so who has a healthy self-esteem is able to get in touch with others. In other words, not being committed to being satisfied, the person with self-esteem can use his attention to put himself in the shoes of others . So it will be easier for them to understand the different views, ideologies and feelings.
Egoism against co-operation
Another key difference between a narcissist and a person with a healthy self-esteem is selfishness. It is easy to think that someone who thinks only of himself loves it, but in fact this one wants to reflect a doubtful person who ends up being his worst enemy .
A person with a healthy self-esteem, however, knows when and how to show generosity and is cooperative, as opposed to the narcissist who is incapable of doing so. If he does not get a benefit, he hardly strives.
What makes the pain of jealousy so acute is that vanity can not help to endure it.
Stendhal
Arrogance counts compassion
Arrogance is the fifth difference between narcissistic and those with a healthy self-esteem. The former show no compassion for anyone, except perhaps for themselves, while those who really want to know their value and the importance of helping others
The narcissist, therefore, in his arrogance, usually looks aggressive, envious and with the need to dominate to feel good. It hardly accepts criticism, however neutral, and will tend to take it on staff (obviously not in the positive sense). He will hardly learn from his mistakes , because he is really trying to realize it and, above all, to accept them .
A narcissistic person and a person with a healthy self-esteem may appear to be very similar. However, when time passes and begins to give consistency to the two types of personality, this first resemblance between narcissism and self-esteem dissolves like the mirage of an oasis in the desert .
